Because it would be EelEagle
I wish I had a pony.
The LIVING ROOM
Or are we still just washing our hands?
If the ant sinks – girl ant If the ant floats – boy ant
"Quick, pass me your bottle!" I told my son, grabbing my crotch. Bloody useless that boy. He just sat there crying in his car seat.
Apparently, "Being a carpenter and getting nailed to a wooden cross" isn't a good example.
He really Haddaway with words.
“Yours is one what?”
Because It would be the longest 6 months of his life.
A man is out shopping and discovers a new brand of Olympic condoms. Clearly impressed, he buys a pack.
Upon getting home he announces to his wife the purchase he just made. “Olympic condoms?”, she blurts, “What makes them so special?” “There are three colors”, he replies, “Gold, Silver and Bronze.” “What color are you going to wear tonight?”, she asks cheekily. “Gold of course”, says the man proudly. The wife responds wryly, “Why don’t you wear Silver? It would be nice if you came second for a change.”
Yeah. It really came out of the purple.
The people of Dubai don’t like the Flintstones but the people of Abu Dhabi Do.
they're always folding. I'll see myself out. lol
Why must it be a group activity?
…just because I was the first person to discover a new crack I the earth's crust, everybody was acting like it's my fault.
It was pointless
It's true, I saw it with my own eyes
I didn’t realize how racist my family was until I brought my black girlfriend home for Thanksgiving dinner
My wife and kids HATED her!
Three girls all had boyfriends with the same name, so in order to avoid confusion, they decided to give the boys nicknames.
The first girl said: "I call my man 7-Up." "Why do you call him that?" asked her friends. "Because he’s seven inches long and is always up." The second girl said: "I call my man Mountain Dew." "Why do you call him that?" said the other two. "Because he likes to mount me and do me!" The third girl said: "I call my man Jack Daniels." The others look at her in bewilderment and say: "Why do you call your man that? Jack Daniels is a hard liquor." "Exactly."
A jewel thief entered a house mid-afternoon. He tied up the woman and at knife-point asked the man to hand over the jewelry and money. The man started sobbing and said, “You can take anything you want. You can even pistol whip me, but please untie the rope and free her.”
Thief: “You must really love your wife!” Man: “No, but she will be home shortly”.
That's a long time considering they're working around the clock.
A man saw a lady with big breasts. He asked, “Excuse me, can I bite your breasts for $1000?” She agrees, so they go to a secluded corner
She opens her blouse and the man puts his face in her breasts for 10 minutes." Eventually the lady asks, "Aren't you gonna bite them?" He replies, "No, it's too expensive."
I don’t understand how she can feel that way.
I'm not sure, but the flag is a big plus.
But Peter came in fifth and won a toaster.
Eventually she asks "What part of the body can grow ten times its normal size when stimulated?" As soon as she asks that, a girl at the back of the class stands up and yells "EWW, THAT'S SO GROSS. HOW DARE YOU ASK THIS TO SMALL CHILDREN? I'M GOING TO TELL MY MOTHER ALL ABOUT THIS", then storms out of the classroom. After the class, the teacher calls the girl back in and says "Young lady, I just have three things to say to you. First, the answer to my question was the pupil; second, you have a very dirty mind for a child your age; and third, one day you're going to very, very disappointed"
I don’t know and I don’t care.