Did y’all hear about the new law. In addition to Social distancing and curfews in some cities in the states they snuck in its illegal to go longer than 3 days without sleep.
It was a game changer.
He couldn't keep it 100 with me.
You can't tell me that's just a coincidence.
I think I’m being stalked.
You will have the rest of your life to try and fix it.
They're so full of themselves.
it's a naan stick pan
As the days go by he gets hornier and hornier – he wants to fuck badly. So he tries to mount the camel but every time he is almost in, the camel pulls away. Day after day he tries, with the same result. One day he comes across an airplane that's just crashed, the only survivor is a beautiful girl. He pulls her from the wreck, gives her food and water, and dresses her wounds. Very grateful, she steps up close and whispers in his ear "I will do anything for you for saving my life, anything. Just name it". "For the love of god, can you hold this camel still"
Two old men are sitting poolside when the first one asks, “Have you read Marx?” The other one replies…
“Yes, I believe that comes from sitting on these wicker chairs.”
Apparently, the correct term is conjoined twins…
One’s an elephant.
I'm all ears
The bartender asks “What can I get for you?” The CEO responds “We’ll have one drink and two drinks please.” The bartender replies “So three drinks?” “What the hell is three?”
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THAT'S A SALT!
but I heard it's whiskey buisness.
It was like music to my arse
They just arrived. Safe and sound Found this on a text message from someone's actual dad
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I guess you could call me an Entrée-preneur