Did you hear about Santa grounding Rudolph this year for getting a D in class?
Yep, he went down in History
Just a paramedics
A lovely man. A terrible cabinet maker.
"You know, one would have been enough."
The well, actually.
From a cattle log.
When the wife said to me, “You spoil those dogs.”
she kept you
Because most of the brides get cold feet.
Because meat is Protein…I…I should go
If there’s one more, it would be too farty.
It's left me scratching my head to be honest.
An attractive young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the priest beside her, “Father, may I ask a favor?”
"Of course child. What may I do for you?" "Well, I bought my mother an expensive hair dryer for her birthday. It is unopened but well over the customs limits and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through Customs for me? Hide it under your robes perhaps?" "I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you, I will not lie." "With your honest face, Father, no one will question you," she replied. When they got to Customs, she let the priest go first. The official asked, "Father, do you have anything to declare?" "From the top of my head down to my waist I have nothing to declare." The official thought this answer strange, so asked, "And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?" Father replied, "I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman, which is, to date, unused." Roaring with laughter, the official said, "Go ahead, Father. Next please!"
I'd be like: "Why y'all keep giving me all these dimes?"
“Now you’re SUPER ANGRY” Maybe she’ll laugh Maybe you’ll die
You add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and pray you don't multiply
A receding hare line.
Well, first, you gotta set a boobie trap…
It's true I saw it with my own eyes
Son – “No, it is cotton. Here,” as he reaches his arm out to me and I touch his sleeve. Dad – “It’s felt now.”
Because if it had 4 doors it’d be a chicken sedan.
She replied, "Aisle B, back!"
The decision was a piece of cake.
But I couldn’t see myself wearing any
To render the buildings on the other side.
Does that mean toasters don’t toast toast toast toast toast?