Did you hear about the boy that went missing in the hospital?
Turns out he was just playing peek-a-boo ICU
Because of all the red flags.
I was driving the other day, accidentally hit this guy in the back. Guy gets out. I see that he’s a dwarf. He starts surveying the damage, shakes his head, and says, “Well, I’m not Happy!”
I said, “Well, which one are you?!” And that’s when the fight began.
We recycle our material every fucking day.
Instead of going on a trip, he went on a mission.
Scraping those stick family decals off your rear window.
That would be soda pressing.
I don't know but Alaska.
Hopefully I won't get locked up for resisting a rest.
But apparently back in the England it's the end of May.
a frog called out to him and said "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and put it back to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do anything you want." Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What's the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you forever and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The engineer replied, "Hey, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."
But that’s comparing apples to oranges.
He found her to be possessive- and she hated his contractions. The marriage felt like a sentence
So when they get back to port, they can Scandinavian.
A rip off.
"Silence of the Lambs"
Yesterday, a beautiful girl asked me whether I wanted to watch a movie. She said, “What do you want to see?”
Me: You pick. Her: You pick. Me: I don’t care which movie. You pick. Her: Sir, there are people behind you in line waiting to buy tickets.
Cuz they're full of BOOS
I said "whatever floats your boat mate" He said "No, thats buoyancy"
But then it grew on me.
When do we want them? NNNNNNEEEEEEOOOOOOOWWWWWW!
Granted I was a billionaire before I met her.
Steve: "I wish I was rich!" Genie: "Okay, what's your next wish?" Rich: "I wish I had lots of money!"
I had my first parachute jump today and was so terrified! This guy strapped himself to me, we jumped out of the plane and as we plummeted, he said…
"So, how long have you been an instructor?"
So I suggested Kay and Elle.
For fingering a minor.