Did you hear about the guy who’s been pick-pocketing midgets?
I can't believe someone would stoop so low!
"Saved For Later"
Jeez, imagine if he were a full brother
…the Czech is in the mail.
He just knew it would be groundbreaking.
“There isn’t a woman in the world that would be hurt by that thing,” she said. I then showed her a video of me fucking her sister.
He only eats Brians
when it becomes apparent.
"It’d be a shame if someone put an ‘s’ at the front and an ‘e’ at the end."
I might go take a gander.
The audience was different each week so he did the same tricks over and over. The problem was, the captain's parrot saw all the shows and began to understand how the magician did every trick. He started shouting in the middle of the show: 'Look, it's not the same hat. Look, he's hiding the flowers under the table. Hey, why are all the cards the ace of spades?' The magician was furious but, as it was the captain's parrot, he could do nothing. Then one day the ship sank and the magician found himself floating on a piece of wood with the parrot. They glared at each other but said nothing. Finally, after a week, the parrot said: 'OK, I give up. Where's the boat?'
That has left scientists scratching their heads.
About the snake that fell down on a drum? Ba-dum tsss
There was recently a new type of mite discovered, and its existence might date back to prehistoric times
They're naming it dinomite
You go in just to see what's new and come out with 10 plates 3 cups and a pair of socks.
Lovely woman; terrible surgeon.
To cover their butt quacks.
some minority would probably mug me for it.
A komodo dragon works security cameras at a store for other komodo dragons. Mostly, he makes sure no other dragon is spying on the customers…
He's a monitor monitor monitoring a monitor for monitoring monitors.
Like bro you were there wtf
It's the first time I've ever had a father figure
I tried to find a lighter and they had only 45324 matches…
She hasn't realized it yet, but the thyme is cumin.
Sometimes he laughs
But most have 4
She almost poked my eye out.
Then I realized I hadn't turned the TV on.
You need professional kelp
Number One with a Pullet.
The pupils… because they dilate.
You can never find the barcode
So that makes me…. transparent