Did you know crocodiles can grow up to 15 feet?
But most of then just have 4.
He tells his wife that after he passes away he doesn’t want her to be alone. “Six months after I pass, I think it would be okay for you to marry Joe.” “Joe?” his wife asks. “But I thought you hated Joe.” “I do,” the man answers.
Eaten alive by a giant ass crab
They do everything on porpoise.
It was an ether/oar situation
It's called 'Facebook'
Whenever I see him, I usually think "not now".
Bartender says "Three feet tall." Guy says "Oh my God! I just ran over a nun!"
By then he’s a mile away, you have got his shoes, and your can fucking say whatever you want about the cunt.
She's a nightmare
To beat the crowds.
I was telling a girl in the pub about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her boobs…
"Really?" she said, "Go on then…try." After about thirty seconds of fondling she lost patience and demanded "Come on, what day was I born?" “Yesterday." I replied.
or we’d all be sorry
So I said, "I'm not at your Beckham call."
Police: You are under arrest! Me: Why? Police: Because you transport 6 people at once on a single motorcycle. Me: Did you say six? Police: that is correct, six! Me: Damn it, we have lost Chantal.
There used to be 2 of them and now it’s a touchy subject
My parents were very against the idea of me getting a tattoo. Eventually they conceded and said that I just had to make sure I got one somewhere not important.
Bit of a pain to travel to Ohio just for a tattoo.
Last week a friend of mine was wearing a condom, when the women’s husband came home and shot him dead
She was a mathemachicken.
They are a big part of pop culture
One was as-salted