Did you know crocodiles can grow up to 15 feet?
But most of then just have 4.
A husband calls for his wife on his deathbed.
He tells his wife that after he passes away he doesn’t want her to be alone. “Six months after I pass, I think it would be okay for you to marry Joe.” “Joe?” his wife asks. “But I thought you hated Joe.” “I do,” the man answers.
My aunts sign was cancer so her death was ironic….
Eaten alive by a giant ass crab
Dolphins don’t have accidents.
They do everything on porpoise.
Before my surgery my anesthetist offered to knock me out with gas or a boat paddle
It was an ether/oar situation
I just installed a new app on my phone that lets me know which of my friends are racist.
It's called 'Facebook'
I’ve got a friend who reminds me of a software update.
Whenever I see him, I usually think "not now".
Guy runs into a bar, yells “Quick! How tall is a penguin?”
Bartender says "Three feet tall." Guy says "Oh my God! I just ran over a nun!"
Never say anything bad about a man until you have walked a mile in his shoes.
By then he’s a mile away, you have got his shoes, and your can fucking say whatever you want about the cunt.
My horse has insomnia and keeps every one awake.
She's a nightmare
Why do HK police go to work early?
To beat the crowds.
I was telling a girl in the pub about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her boobs…
"Really?" she said, "Go on then…try." After about thirty seconds of fondling she lost patience and demanded "Come on, what day was I born?" “Yesterday." I replied.
Thank god Canada’s not the super power
or we’d all be sorry
![Everything is terrible. [OC]](https://jokejet.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/Ku1LmY1-400x400.jpg)
My wife told me to stop obsessing over a certain footballer.
So I said, "I'm not at your Beckham call."
(: ¡¡ʇɥƃᴉN pooפ
Love, Australia.
You are under arrest
Police: You are under arrest! Me: Why? Police: Because you transport 6 people at once on a single motorcycle. Me: Did you say six? Police: that is correct, six! Me: Damn it, we have lost Chantal.
What do the twin towers and gender have in common?
There used to be 2 of them and now it’s a touchy subject
My parents were very against the idea of me getting a tattoo. Eventually they conceded and said that I just had to make sure I got one somewhere not important.
Bit of a pain to travel to Ohio just for a tattoo.
Condoms do not Guarantee safe sex
Last week a friend of mine was wearing a condom, when the women’s husband came home and shot him dead
I once had a hen who could count her own eggs.
She was a mathemachicken.
Dad jokes are important
They are a big part of pop culture
What did the solar panel say to the soul man
SOUL POWER
2 peanuts walked into a park
One was as-salted
![It usually takes longer to write the automation code too [OC]](https://jokejet.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/z4grlcpz06d31.png)
