Dog offers to help clean pool.
Because he’s got little legs
Because you look like a Queue
Historically it's rare for a King to leave the throne alive.
But it really went downhill fast.
What do you do if you see an Epileptic having a fit in the bath? Throw in your laundry. The guy behind us leaned over and said "I think that's disgusting. My son died in the bath whilst having a fit." We both went white and apologised. The guy got up to get off and said, "he choked on a sock."
The demon said that he is going to eat them. But being in good mood he gave them chance to escape death and go home, should they pass his test: survive three strikes of his whip. He also said that they can wish for any one thing to protect themselves against the whip. The American gone first. He wished for a shield made of titanum steel. But the shild held only for two strikes. At the first strike of the demonic whip it severely deformed, at the second strike it protected the American, but completely fell appart. The third strike killed the poor American. Then came the Indian. "I don't need anything to protect myself.", said the Indian. "I practiced yoga for decades, both my mind and my body are ready to withstand any punishment that you whip will give." And so he did. Demon's whip didn't leave even a scar on yogi's body . "Okay, you passed my test", the demon said,"You can go". "I will stick around for while, I'm curious about what the Brit will do." The demon asked the Brit: "Now it's your turn. What will you use to protect yourself?". "Why, the Indian, of course!".
To render the buildings
Amazingly, there was no congestion for eight hours
I can do it with my eyes closed.
Because they had a fight and 2021
The Imam says “Why the wrong faith?”
and as you can see, they were Wright.
It’s a gateway rug
Preferred pronouns are Her/she
The first time he set a building on fire, I turned to my wife and said, "yep, that's arson."
I just gave them my too weak notice…
…does it still count as a shock?
The doctor says, “5 penises!? How do you pants fit?” The man replies “Like a glove.”
After all, 2022 is 2020, too!
She is a few hours away from getting a heart transplant and quite nervous. She asks the surgeon, “Doctor, what if my body rejects it?” The surgeon replies, “Well, you’re in good health apart from your heart. What do you do for a living?” She shyly admits, “Um, actually I’ve been working as a prostitute since I was eighteen.” “I see… and how old are you now?” He Enquired. “Thirty four – but may I ask where this is going?” She replied anxiously. “Well,” said the surgeon after some thought, “if you haven’t rejected an organ for the last sixteen years, it’s unlikely that you’ll start now.”
I know, it sounds a little far fetched.
A buck an ear.
On the upside, it’s buttered. But on the downside, it’s not.
They changed my mind
With a pumpkin patch!
Therapist: What brought you two here today? Her: I hate how he takes things so literally. Therapist: And you? Him: A car.
A lip reader.
There will be no coffin at his funeral.
…they say he will be given a tough sentence
Because he was asked to research.
I looked at it and thought, “This isn’t for me.”
Y’know, one would’ve been enough.