So…Is it a freefall? I asked him. He said, It is, indeed. I said, Good, because I haven't got any money.
A vindow viper
Wife: Suppose you hit jackpot of 1 million dollars in a lottery and the same day, someone kidnaps me and demands ransom of 1 million dollars. What will you do? Husband: I doubt if I can hit two jackpots in one day!
One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter.
A hoppo My 4 year old cousin thinks it’s the funniest thing in the world
Like homie what were you doing in the closet that whole time
We had some drinks, cool guy, says he wants to be a web-developer
They tower under everyone else.
I have a hunch it might be me.
A man entered his home and discovered that someone had stolen every single lamp present in the house.
He was absolutely delighted.
I answered “Why would you think that?” He said “Well, my teacher said they mostly live off of tourists there”.
I was suspicious or my girlffriend cheating on me with this guy from her gym. So i pick up her phone at night when she’s sleeping ..
…and drive to this dude's place on the other side of the town and go to stand on his porch to see if the wifi connects
Those are the pie rates of the Caribbean
He didn’t habanero
I asked who has papers and they all took off running
But all my friends are at least 30.
They’ll be so disappointed when the finale is not a cliffhanger…
I learned the hard way that if it says you can swim with it, this only applies if you can already swim without it.
I can also tell if they are standing.
One asks, do you smell fish?
" A man who lays with another man should be stoned. " (Leviticus 20: 13)
It's a sweet role!
Because attachments are forbidden
I can really taste the change.
Makes you an eighth theist.
It scares the shit out the dog.
..it became beer.
Remove the S
That was not a good sign.