Doing my homework the teacher sent us this comic strip
I just came to that conclusion.
Because their horns don’t work!
I lost interest in that relationship
It's something that a hundred men or more could never do…
i said i stopped giving a shift.
The other 2/11 are quite good though!
I think it was filmed in a cinema though, as I see a little silhouetto of a man.
Well, well, well…
What is the best type of pan to cook fish in? A CAST iron pan. Get it? Because you have to cast for fish. I thought it was super cute!
Nothing, they’re free of charge.
It's down to its last quarter.
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“What can I do for you, Father?” “I’m collecting for the orphanage.” “Just a moment,” says the little girl, closing the door. The priest waits patiently, then suddenly hears first one gunshot, then another. The little girl returns to the door and says: “OK, you can take me now.”
It had a reptile dysfunction.
You should go for the juggler.
Once the clothes came off she said to me "You have the biggest dick I have ever laid my hands on" I said, "Stop pulling my leg."
Great food, no atmosphere.
But most have 4
I’ve been torturing my 12yo son with dad jokes for the last month or so…he came in first thing this morning and laid this one on me…
Where do sunburned dinosaurs go for help? The Allosaurus. He earned a high-five for that one.
Did anyone else’s parents teach them to swim by throwing them in the lake? I think the swimming was the easy part.
Getting out of that burlap sack was tricky, though.
is it still considered a beef?
Yep, people are just dying to get in there!
Just today I had to explain to someone that there is a vas deferens between a testicle and a penis.
Because they’re always stuffed.
So when someone asks, tell them it's 12345678
I said: "There's the door."
A woman is at home when she hears someone knock at the door. She goes to the door and opens the door to see a man standing there. He asks the lady 'Do you have a vagina?'. She slams the door in disgust. The next morning she hears a knock at the door and it is the same man and he asks the same question of the woman 'Do you have a vagina'. She slams the door again. Later that night when her husband gets home she tells him what has happened for the last two days. The husband tells the wife in a loving and concerned voice 'Honey I am taking tomorrow off to be home just in case this guy shows up again'. The next morning they hear a knock at the door and both run for the door. The husband says to the wife in a whispered voice 'Honey, I'm going to hide behind the door and listen and if it is the same guy I want you to answer yes to the question because I want to see where he is going with it'. She nods yes to her husband and opens the door. Sure enough the same fellow is standing there and asks the same question. Do you have vagina'….. .. 'Yes' she says…… The man replies Good! Would you mind telling your husband to leave my wife's alone and start using yours'?
The bouncer says "No tie, no admittance". The guy goes back to his car, looks for a tie but only finds jumper cables. He arranges them around his neck like a tie and heads back in. The bouncer gives him an appraising glance, and says "OK; I'll let you in. But don't start anything!" Edit: this joke is a tribute to u/rogersimon10. What a legend he was.
It would be so lonely being the last man on Earth.
Only 1,999 more words to go!!