Draw Bridge
A Redditor walks into a bar
Just kidding, Redditors don’t socialize
My dad’s boomer friend just posted this. Wife bad. Must kill. Then maybe grill.
https://ift.tt/2KJT4VX
A man came up to me and said “Man, your clothes look gay”.
I said "I know, they came out of the closet this morning".
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer…
I’m not sure what he laced them with but I’ve been tripping all day.
I just got attacked by a gang of mime artists…
They did unspeakable things to me.
I made a pencil with two erasers.
To be honest, it was pointless.
What did Charizard say to Pikachu?
Charizard
You guys hear about the depressed plumber?
He’s going through a lot of crap right now.
Went to the swimming pool the other day and desperately need to pee so just peed in the pool
Got such a fright when the lifeguard blew his whistle that I nearly fell in..
I tried looking up synonyms of confusion.
But I came away with uncertainty and disorientation.
I think im addicted to Thanksgiving leftovers.
I'm going to quit cold turkey.
What’s brown and sticky?
A Stick
I hate it when engineering students refer to themselves as engineers…
Like you don't see med students calling themselves doctors or arts students calling themselves unemployed.
I got fired from my job at the bank today.
An old lady came in and asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
I wish I was a lost redditor
No text found
Set your wifi password to 2444666668888888
So when someone asks for your wifi password you can say 12345678
We all know where the big apple is.
But does anyone know where the Minneapolis?
If my name was Travis, I would get a tee shirt and put my name across the chest.
It would be a travesty.
What happened to the frog’s car when it broke down?
It got toad.
3 unwritten rules of life…
1. 2. 3.
What did the instructor that was a ghost say to his students?
Lets look at the board and I'll go through it again….
What do French people say when riding a roller coaster?
OUUUIIIIIIIIII
Imm so good at sleeping
I can do it with my eyes closed
I woke up this morning and saw my neighbor slumped over his lawn mower, crying his eyes out.
He was growing through a rough patch.
Dad, are we pyromaniacs?
Yes, we arson.
What kind of drugs do ducks take?
quack cocaine
![Guy on the floor robs the robber [Only in SA]](https://jokejet.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/no_image_card-130-400x247.png)
I just watched a movie about graphs, and it was really disappointing.
The plot was predictable, and the special f(x) was terrible.
A man calls his home and a boy answers.
The guy says, "Who is this?" "Hey dad it's me," answers the boy "Shouldn't you be in school?" The man asks "Mum said i could stay home because I'm ill" The boy answers "Where is your mother?" asks the man. The boy says, "She's upstairs in bed with the postman." The man is fuming and says to the boy, "Listen very carefully, I need you to do something." "What will I have to do?" The man tells him, "I want you to get my gun from the garage, and then come back." The boy puts the phone down; the man hears footsteps and then the boy comes back. "Now what, Dad?" He asks. "Go upstairs to where your mum is, and shoot her and whoever she is with." The man hears footsteps, then two gunshots, and the boy comes back. "What do I do with the bodies" the boy asks The man says, "Throw them in the swimming pool." Puzzled, the boy answers, "But we don't have a pool." There is a long pause, before the man answers. "Sorry, wrong number."
I write my name in cursive all the time –
It's my signature move.
Today is a day we celebrate motherfuckers.
Happy Father's Day!
