Easier than explaining progressive taxes
Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labor pain to the father. He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favor of it. The doctor set the pain transfer to 10% for starters, explaining that even 10% was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before. But as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and kick it up a notch. The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer. The husband was still feeling fine. The doctor checked the husband's blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing. At this point they decided to try for 50%. The husband continued to feel quite well. Since the pain transfer was obviously helping out the wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him. The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain. She and her husband were ecstatic. When they got home, the mailman was dead on the porch.
I am lack toes intolerant.
but it was just my imagine Asian.
Cause he has little legs!
I’m a faux pas.
They're believed to be used as part of a sting operation
Once upon a time there was this lobster…
I heard they got a nap for that.
The result speaks for itself.
Gloves. Jk, he hasn’t opened it yet.
Because their horns don’t work. (I can’t imagine this isn’t a repost, so delete if need be)
I shouted: I bet the one with the knife wins! Both started running away.
Because to construct them, you need to install windows
We went and had some drinks. Cool guy. Wants to be a web developer.
Cause he didn't want to be spotted!
He's a seasoned veteran.
“You can tune a guitar but you can’t tune a fish” “What about the pot of glue” “I knew you’d get stuck on that”
"The way you've taken is wrong, stop and turn back now, before it's too late!" The next busy driver, who looks at the inscription, shows a sparse finger and disappears behind the curve. A second later a loud crash is heard. One of the nuns thoughtfully says, -Sister, shall we just write: "Attention, the bridge is demolished?"
A tattoo parlour in my neighborhood is offering a free tattoo to anyone who would flash their boobs.
It’s their Tit for Tat special.
“And I love you tons.” I replied. “What, no nickname for me?” She asked, disappointed. Sometimes I swear the fat cow’s going deaf.
"For I did not speak of my own Accord…" – John 12:49
They both have a good time.
Like the Smith family were blacksmiths and the Bowman family were archers and the Dickinson family… well they were in jail
Tis the best place to trade stolen content for gold. Edit: ARRRR! Me farst gold! Much love me matey!
So I packed my stuff up and right
…. when I thought "not only does my son have a really stupid name, he´s also a terrible driver"
They had each stolen their daughters purses to see what their girls did in their free time. The redhead mom opens her daughters purse first and finds a pack of cigarettes. “Oh my God, Debbie smokes! I am going to kill her!” The brunette mom opens her daughter’s purse second, holding up a half-smoked joint. “Lindsay smokes pot?! How could she?!” The blonde mom rifles through her daughter’s purse next and pulls out an empty condom wrapper. The other moms stare at her for a few moments before she puts her hand over her mouth. “Holy shit… Cindy has a dick.”
Kristen: Sure! Christen: thank you Kris: Anytime
So I brought her home diet pills.
Including my name, address and phone number.