A good cop wears a goodge.
It was about a week back.
-is dealing with all the… spills!!!
Apparently you need to be a complete dick.
Which was ironic since we were at a bus stop
All he did was cut corners
but they keep ending up in the gutter.
An old man placed an order for one hamburger, french fries and a drink. He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half, placing one half in front of his wife…
He then carefully counted out the french fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife. He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup down between them. As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around them were looking over and whispering. Obviously, they were thinking, "That poor old couple…all they can afford is one meal for the two of them." As the man began to eat his fries, a young man came to the table and politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple. The old man said, they were just fine, they were used to sharing everything. People closer to the table noticed the little old lady hadn't eaten a bite. She sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink. Again, the young man came over and begged them to let him buy another meal for them. This time the old woman said, "No, thank you, we are used to sharing everything." Finally, as the old man finished and was wiping his face neatly with the napkin, the young man again came over to the little old lady who had yet to eat a single bite of food and asked, "What is it you are waiting for?" She answered, "THE TEETH!"
It would be appropriate to serve meals to them as "Can-a-bull."
Because he was outstanding in his field.
She got mad and said she’s never playing Scrabble with me again!
Me: It seems like….you have a hidden agenda.
THIS ONE WAS WRITTEN IN OSLO!
I think it was filmed in a movie theater, though – I see a little silhouetto of a man.
He saw the gas bill.
But when he rounded them up he had 400.
Because "almost underage" sounds a bit creepy.
“Houston, we have a problem.” What? “Never mind” What’s the problem? “Nothing” Please tell us? “You know what the problem is.”
Fans will remember that
Their words, not mine.
You can only ran, because it's past tents.
She spat it right back in my face. Credits: Jimmy Carr