There will be no coffin at his funeral.
But cocaine is where I draw the line.
A woman in labor suddenly shouted, "Shouldn't! Wouldn't! Couldn't! Didn't! Can't!" "Don't worry," said the doc. "Those are just contractions."
His name was Sir Render.
A small medium at large.
Because it was well armed.
What's even better is, she thinks it's punishment.
Dad: The steaks have never been higher.
He was lowered into the coffin, flipped over, and then lowered again.
When it’s ajar.
Times new ramen!
A waist of time.
It got stuck in a crack
Flummoxed, I asked my wife, “Honey, the kids don’t want to eat their vegetables. What do you want me to do?” She shouted back from the other room, “That’s fine. Just throw them out, dear!”
Later, I told them, "Look, I'm just as surprised as you are!" as I helped them pack their suitcases…
Tickets are non-refundable…
Most people think that the word “Queue” is just the letter “Q” followed by four silent letters. But they are not silent.
They are just waiting their turn.
I don’t know if it was because she was still wearing them or because the rest of the family was there. Either way it made the rest of the funeral very awkward.
Because he doesn't want to be spotted
But I’m 2² to say it
Her: How expensive? Me: I dunno. Maybe $25,000. Her: You could buy a car for that! Me: That's a bit excessive — I don't think it needs its own car.
It's only March 28th here, but in England it feels like it's the end of May.
Great food, but no atmosphere
Well, that was a trip down memory lane.