English teacher’s van.
she told me "give it away, give it away, give it away NOW" !
cos 0 = 1
De brie everywhere.
Jack goes to his buddy Bob and says … “I’m sleeping with the priest’s wife. Can you hold him in church for an hour after mass for me?”
The friend doesn't like it but being a buddy, he agrees. After mass, Bob starts talking to the priest, asking him all sorts of stupid questions, just to keep him occupied. Finally the priest gets annoyed and asks him what he's really up to. Bob feeling guilty, finally confesses to the priest… "My friend is sleeping with your wife right now, so he asked me to keep you occupied." The priest smiles, puts a brotherly hand on Bob's shoulder and says… “You better hurry home now, my wife died a year ago"
He’ll be born in March.
They were Wright
Their words, not mine
But you've probably never heard of herbivore.
A boy scout went around his neighborhood looking for a job… "I'll pay you $20 to paint my porch," said one neighbor. The scout agreed and went to work. A few hours later, the scout knocked on the neighbor's door and said, "I'm all finished, but your car is a Mercedes, not a Porsche."
Granny replies, "Fuck the pills, have u seen the dragon in the kitchen?!"
then 25.8069758 is the root of all evil
One evening, she went home and memorized all the state capitals. Back in the office the next day, some guy started telling a dumb blonde joke. She interrupted him with a shrill announcement, "I've had it up to here with these blonde jokes. I want you to know that this blonde went home last night and did something probably none of you could do. I memorized all of the state capitals." One of the guys, of course, said, "I don't believe you. What is the capital of Nevada?" "N," she answered.
I'll go on ahead.
It’s a small world.
Especially if collaborators don’t stick with the format.https://ift.tt/2Ew0T1o
One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
8:00: 1 8:10: 0 9:23: 1 9:28: 0 0:13: 1 0:20 0 1:47: 1 1:55: 0
They both only have two fans
I'm glad I did. We went out. Had a few drinks. Overall good guy. He's a web designer.
No text found
Well, well, well.
Little Johnny and his parents decided to spent the day at the beach. He goes off to play in the sand only to return a few moments later. "Mom why are some women's breasts bigger than others?" To which his mom replied. "The women with bigger breasts are more silly" satisfied with this answer he goes off to play for a while longer. Later the boy asks why some men's penises are bigger than others, his mom tells him "Men with bigger penises are dumber" once again content Johnny goes off to play again. A while later he returns with a grin on his face and tells his mom, "Hey Mom Dad is talking to the silliest girl here and he just keeps getting dumber and dumber"
A friend of his, who happened to be riding in the same subway car, noticed this strange phenomenon. Very upset, he approached him. “Moshe, have you lost your mind? Why are you reading an Arab newspaper?” Moshe replied, “I used to read the Jewish newspaper, but what did I find? Jews being persecuted, Israel being attacked, Jews disappearing through assimilation and intermarriage, Jews living in poverty. So I switched to the Arab newspaper. Now what do I find? Jews own all the banks, Jews control the media, Jews are all rich and powerful, Jews rule the world. The news is so much better!”
I think I'll pass.
They were out standing in their field
How the f*** did I get all these nickles?
Ones a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.
A woman is sitting at her deceased husband’s funeral. A man asks “do you mind if I say a word” “no, go right ahead” the woman replies. The man stands, clears his throat, says…
My parents used to tell me that joke all the time. Still remember it to this day.
Because B shells are too small and D shells are too big.
then I remembered that taste is relative.
There's a lot of red flags you need to watch out for.
One came, one saw, and one conquered.
There was no coffin at the funeral.