I'm quite font of her.
8yo cousin: To get to the idiot's house. Me (patronizingly): Oh..uh..yeah good one haha. 8yo cousin: Wanna hear another one? Knock knock Me: Who's there 8yo: The chicken.
They use a pumpkin patch!
JOB AT GOOGLE FROM UZBEKISTAN! VERY FAST!SUPPORT ME ON MY JOURNEY!https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yW4pZq_LMYQ&t=2s&ab_channel=tenten
He's basically a giant banner.
In anatomy, the asshole is at the bottom.
The lizard looks up and says to the monkey “Hey! what are you doing?” The monkey says “Smoking a joint, come up and join me, my cold- blooded friend.” So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and they have another joint. After a while the lizard says his mouth is ‘dry’, and that he’s going to get a drink from the river. At the riverbank, the lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls in. A Crocodile sees this and swims over to the stoned lizard, helping him to the side. He then asks the lizard, “What’s the matter with you?!” The lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting in the tree, smoking a joint with his new monkey friend. He then explained how his mouth got dry, and that he was so wasted that, when he went to get a drink from the river, he fell in! The inquisitive crocodile says he has to check this out. He walks into the jungle and finds the tree where the monkey is sitting, finishing a joint. He looks up and says “Hey, MONKEY!” The Monkey looks down and says “FUUUUUCK, DUDE……. how much water did you drink?”
So I handed her the divorce papers and said “may div orce be with you”
It only takes one nail to hang a picture
So they can beat the crowd.
Normally i don’t go because I’m poor
The man handed the baby back to the doctor. "Then bring me the one my wife did make."
So they can see the battlefield.
The lawyer is to first. He lays his head down, the lever is pulled… But nothing happened. He argues that he can't receive two death penalties, so he is let go. Next, the priest lays his head down, the lever is pulled, and the same thing happens. He claims that he was clearly saved by God, so he is let go. Finally, the engineer lays his head down, looks up at the blade and says, "oh, I see your problem"
I told him to be more Pacific.
An old woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
He said, "Thank you." I said, "Don't mention it."
Pun in, ten dead.
Beauty. It's in the eye of the bee-holder.
Many people were disgusted, but it's none of my business so I told him: "You do you."
…until the pressure got to him.
It was about time.
All he did was wine
It's when you promise to pull out but you don't:
He's been made the CIEIO
But I can stop whenever I want.
and so far all it's been doing is gathering dust.
At her parent's house. Her father, after being woken by the noises, goes upstairs to check it out; and walks in on them. "Dad!" she exclaimed in a panic "…I'm sorry" The dad being, a dad, replies "hi sorry, I'm Dad!" He then turns to the boyfriend and asks "Are you *fucking* sorry?"
The dwarf laughs and walks under it
She just bought me a $500,000 life insurance policy and a free all-inclusive trip to the Dominican Republic!
Turns out she was seeing someone else the whole time.
The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.