Exactly what all women did
That place was giving me the crêpes
It's 150 minus the number of toilet rolls you have at home
‘cause the constant beeping was giving me a headache and making me hallucinate
They are just USB sticks And when you exhale, you get cloud storage.
He says: "I refuse to say anything without a lawyer present." Cop: "You are a lawyer." Lawyer: "Exactly, so where is my present?"
Sure there's lots of fish in the ocean, but until I catch one, I'm just stuck here holding my rod.
They said if i didn't pay it back on time i'd be repossessed
A bus full of children
Who are they going to tell? Their parents?
"Hurry!" she said, "stand in the corner." She quickly rubbed baby oil all over him and then she dusted him with talcum powder. "Don't move until I tell you to," she whispered. "Just pretend you're a statue." "What's this, honey?" the husband inquired as he entered the room. "Oh, it's just a statue," she replied nonchalantly. "The Smiths bought one for their bedroom. I liked it so much, I got one for us too." No more was said about the statue, not even later that night when they went to sleep. Around two in the morning the husband got out of bed, went to the kitchen and returned a while later with a sandwich and a glass of milk. "Here," he said to the 'statue', "eat something. I stood like an idiot at the Smiths' for three days and nobody offered me as much as a glass of water."
After I tried, she freaked out and told me never again. I guess the bulb was hot.
I have no words for how angry I am.
When I got home, I realized I’d only picked seven up.
No text found
When it becomes apparent.
Happy Alentine's Ay
They will kill your dog
I don’t think I can ever repay you.
He got a little behind in his work
She said "it's my husband!. Quick, try the backdoor!" Thinking back, I really should have ran but you don't get offers like that every day.
It will be a sadder day.
They’re hill areas
Tell a redditor a joke he will post it for a lifetime
At first, it sounds like a great idea. But then you're on your knees in the living room, with a mess on the carpet, wishing you'd have just paid someone.