Exhaustive boomer wife
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Turns out she felt the same way. So I turned the airconditioning on.
Said no one, ever
They both go broom broom
The one I already had wasn't bored enough.
The experience has always been hit-or-miss for me.
Because of all the red flags.
I'm fine – i only suffered super fish oil injuries
I don’t understand how she can feel that way.
My dealer sure has some explaining to do.
An American, an Indian, and a Russian got in Hell and plead to the Devil that they don’t belong here. The Devil, bored, makes them an offer: “I will strike you 3 times with my whip, and if you survive, I’ll let you go. You can use anything you want as a shield”.
The American goes first. He builds a high-tech shield from depleted uranium and composites, and hides behind it. The Devil strikes once – the shield cracks; twice – the shield falls apart; thrice – the American is no more. Next goes the Indian. He puts himself in some advanced Yoga position and goes into deep hibernation. The Devil strikes once – nothing; twice – the Indian shivers a bit; thrice – the Indian grunts, but lives. The Devil is amazed and tells him he's free to go. The Indian asks "May I stay and watch? In all jokes the Russians somehow come out on top. I want to see how he will do it this time". The Devil nods and turns to the Russian: "So, what will you use as a shield?" The Russian: "The Indian, of course".
Should’ve cooked it on aloha temperature
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So I sent him a card, “Get well soon.”
They have a lot of pressure on them.
But to me, March 14th will always be cake day.
Police are working tirelessly to catch him
I'm shitting bricks to be honest.
I like to remind her that most lottery winners blow their winnings.
I said "Can we be friends with benefits?". She said "So, you just want sex?". I said "No, I want you to add me on your health insurance.".
I pleaded, “But baby, it’s cold outside.”
She got a full sentence
His exact words were, “When I want your fucking advice, I’ll ask for it.”
Can you help me with a project answering this poll with your age? https://ift.tt/2veVDKO – 12 to 17 https://ift.tt/2SwdhSb – 18 to 24 https://ift.tt/2UBOOxu – 25 to 34 https://ift.tt/2SwdiWf – 35+