Favorite I've seen

I thought this meme died a long time ago

There are 6.02×10^23 guacas in a guacamole,

Which is also known as avocado’s number

Many pearls were clutched that day

https://ift.tt/2zno2AL

Super Bowl Halftime

At halftime it's Maroon 5 Patriots 3 Rams 0

Passes straight through, dk what to tell ya ;)

https://ift.tt/37YQZyQ

MRW my friend asks what happens to atoms under heat (X-post from /r/shittyreactiongifs)

https://ift.tt/3c5GHPr

What has 50 pairs of eyes but only three teeth?

The front row at a Trump rally.

My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right.

No text found

But Socialism! Think of our Mom and Pop businesses!

https://ift.tt/33PGjQh

What video game system does Homer Simpson play?

Ninten-doh!

A lady had lost her husband almost four years ago. Her daughter was constantly calling her to get back into the dating world. Finally, she said she’d go out, but didn’t know anyone. Her daughter immediately replied, “Mom, I have someone for you to meet!”

Well, it was an immediate hit. They took to one another and after dating for six weeks, he asked her to join him for a weekend in Spain. Their first night there, she undressed as he did. There she stood nude, except for a pair of black panties, he in his birthday suit. Looking her over, he asked, "Why the black panties?" She replied "My breasts you can fondle, my body is yours to explore, but down there I am still mourning." He knew he was not going to get lucky that night. The following night was the same, she stood there wearing the black panties and he was in his birthday suit but now he was wearing a black condom. She looked at him and asked, "What's with the black condom?" He replied, "I want to offer my deepest condolences."

When the President gets a softball question and goes on a rant, but then you remember he’s got a serious mental disability.

https://ift.tt/2QBuoSn

My friend everybody

https://ift.tt/3a4qCZn

I think this Microsoft Stream dev was having a bad day

https://ift.tt/2RIvZpe

;;;;;;;;;;

https://ift.tt/2JFR54c

Programmer for life

https://ift.tt/2QlpsBJ

A guy accidentally says another girls name during sex

One day, Matt is fucking his girlfriend, Sarah, in his apartment, after they both spent some time together. They're both passionately going at it, and look into each others eyes, and as Matt is about to climax he yells "Ohhh, Angela!" Sarah instantly stops, and gives a sharp cold look, and shouts "WHO THE FUCK IS ANGELA?" Matt, realizing that he just said another girls name during sex, tries to cover it up with an excuse, and replies "Oh? You don't know what "Angela" means? Haha its a newer slang term, which means 'here I come, take my load!'" Sarah gives a puzzled look, and forgets about it in the moment as they continue to cuddle in bed. The next day, Sarah meets up for the first time with a group of girls at her dorm, and meets Rose, and they have a good time and slowly become friends. After hesitating for a while, Sarah casually asks, "Hey, do you know what Angela means? Something boys are starting to say more often?" to which Rose replies, "no, not really." Sarah continues to say that it means "here I come, take my load!" Rose, confused, looks back at her and says: "I heard that's what "Sarah" means?"