fits my flair
Unless you multiply yourself by the speed of light squared. Then you energy…
But so far I've made 3 vases and a jug.
Does he have no Seoul
He's stuck at a crossroads between three schools – Harvard, Hampden-Sydney, and Alabama. To try and get some guidance, he asks his father, "Well, what are my chances of getting laid at Harvard?" "Oh, not good at all," his father says. "They're too focused on studying and working to have any fun at all." "What about Hampden-Sydney?" "Well, it's an all guys school, so unless you're into that, I wouldn't be too confident." "Well, Alabama has to have something, right?" "Alabama!" the father says with a chuckle. "Well, at Alabama, I'd say your chances of getting laid are pretty relative!"
I swerved to avoid her in the road and ran out of gas
But now I stand corrected
But I told them I couldn't quit "cold turkey "
On the plus side, he makes great Subway sandwiches.
A bodybuilder takes off his shirt and the blonde says: "" What a big chest you have! " He says: "" That's 90 kg of dynamite, girl. "" He takes off his pants. And the blonde says, "" What massive muscles do you have! " The bodybuilder says, "" That's 90 kg of dynamite, girl. "" … Then he removes his underwear, and the blonde runs out of the apartment screaming. The bodybuilder quickly puts on his clothes and runs after her. He catches up with her and asks why she suddenly ran away from the apartment screaming. The blonde replies: "" I was scared to be so close to all that dynamite when I saw how short the fuse was. "
It be the best place to exchange stolen content for gold.
He asks saint Peter: "I'd like to see Mohammed. Do you know where he is?" "Mohammed? He's not here. I'm just the gatekeeper. You'll need to go higher." And so the Muslim enters. He sees Mary the god bearer sitting on a bench. "Excuse me. Do you know where I could find Mohammed?" "Mohammed? I think he's at work. You'll need to go higher." Having ascended all the way to the top, he sees Jesus standing before him. "Christ, highest of prophets. I'm looking for Mohammed. Please show me the way." "Mohammed you say? You'll need to go higher." Saying that, Jesus rises his hand and a stairway appears. Thankful, the Muslim goes up the long steps. Suddenly, he finds himself in what looks like an office. God, radiating with divine light, welcomes him. "What do you seek?" "Can I see Mohammed?" "Of course but why the rush. Come. Sit down. Would you like a coffee?" "Yes please." "Mohammed! Two coffees please"
Ruth hits a tree. Johnny decides to continue on. Ruthlessly.
But to be fair, those crows shouldn't have been gathering in the middle of the road
That sail has shipped.
It was a waist of time
By the pound.
I wish I could post it in another subreddit
Because you don't know what he laces them with and you'll be tripping all day.
That my only greeting is from a microwave.
Doctor: Wow! That's the worst case of parking sons disease I have ever seen.
If there’s one more, it would be too farty.
“No idea. That’s a real head-scratcher.”
It's a trap.
A new Army Captain was assigned to a recon company in a remote post in the desert. During his first inspection, he noticed a camel hitched up behind the mess tent. He asked the First Sergeant why the camel is kept there. "Well, sir," was the nervous reply, "as you know, there are 250 men here and no women. And sir, sometimes the men have …m-m-m…. urges. That's why we have the camel, sir." The Captain said, "I can't say that I condone this, but I understand about urges, so the camel can stay." About a month later, the Captain started having a real problem with his own urges. Crazy with passion, he asked the First Sergeant to bring the camel to his tent. Putting a stool behind the camel, the Captain stood on it, pulled down his pants, and had wild, insane sex with the camel. When he was done, he asked the First Sergeant, "Is that how the men do it?" "Uh, no sir," the First Sergeant replied. "They usually just ride the camel into town where the girls are."
…but I prefer it in a bowl.
But most only grow four.
“Don’t worry,” said the doctor. “Those are just contractions.”
You can't hear an enzyme.
I’m just trying to obey the 2nd law of thermodynamics like a good boy.
Then I realised she can't even.
Oscillating ones cool the room much better.
I have a father figure.
Does that mean toasters don’t toast toast toast toast toast?
No text found
Store worker: Why do you ask? Eggplant: Yeah, why do you ask?
Its what they call Ninjary time.