Forgiveness as told by the MAGA crowd
She said, “You can’t do this to me!” I said, “I know… that’s why I’m doing it to her.”
He's stuck at a crossroads between three schools – Harvard, Hampden-Sydney, and Alabama. To try and get some guidance, he asks his father, "Well, what are my chances of getting laid at Harvard?" "Oh, not good at all," his father says. "They're too focused on studying and working to have any fun at all." "What about Hampden-Sydney?" "Well, it's an all guys school, so unless you're into that, I wouldn't be too confident." "Well, Alabama has to have something, right?" "Alabama!" the father says with a chuckle. "Well, at Alabama, I'd say your chances of getting laid are pretty relative!"
They do everything on porpoise.
A young man moved out from home and into a new apartment complex on his own. He proudly went down to the foyer to put his name on his mailbox.
While he was there, a stunning young blonde came out of the apartment and walked down to the mailboxes, wearing only a bathrobe. The young man smiled at the woman and she started up a conversation with him. As they talked……her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she had nothing else on. The poor kid broke into a sweat trying with all his effort to maintain eye contact. After a few minutes, she placed her hand on his arm and said, 'Let's go to my apartment, I hear someone coming.' Nervously he followed her into her apartment; she closed the door and leaned against it, allowing her bathrobe to fall off completely. Now nude, she purred at him……… 'What would you say is my best feature?' Flustered and embarrassed, he finally squeaked, 'It's got to be your ears!!!' Astounded, and a little hurt she asked, 'My ears?!?!?' 'Look at these breasts; they are a full 39 inches and 100% natural…… I work out every day and my Ass is firm and solid…….i have a 28 inch waist……. Look at my skin – not a blemish anywhere!!!!' How can you think that the best part of my body is my ears!?!' Clearing his throat, he stammered …. 'Outside, when you said you heard someone coming that was me.'
The girl replied, “Thanks for the Baghdad”
So when someone asks, tell them it's 12345678
The correct term is "Turd World Countries".
He tried to walk on ice before it was cool
Its worse than the last two jokes you heard, combined.
But I just wasn't a big fan.
A non-prophet one
I can’t believe I missed all the red flags
I went to 4 different ones and they all said insufficient funds.
"Do you know how to drive this thing?"
I only knew her as Christina and this was too much of a shock.
Because 7 was a registered 6 offender
I'm an only child 🙁
There's nothing cuter than a babies' coup.
Should’ve cooked it on aloha temperature
Its what they call Ninjary time.
Well, first it tied the records up, then it beat them…
Because he got caught watching kitty porn.
I mined my own business.
It was really time consuming
Wife: I have something I need to tell you, I’m pregnant. Husband: Hi pregnant, I’m Dad. Wife: No you’re not.
He lost the other in Nom.
…should get a NO – BELL prize.
Some people… You give them an inch and they take a mile