Found at my parents house (translated from German). Kids bad, technology also bad!

Hassan Rouhani hates his wife too

https://ift.tt/2D0bc9T

Do you know why South Dakota has the best track teams?

A woman who is 3 months pregnant falls into a deep coma.

6 months later, she awakes and asks the doctor about her baby. Doc: You had twins, a boy and a girl. They are both fine. Luckily, your brother named them for you! Woman: Oh god no, not my brother. He is an idiot! What did he name the girl? Doc: Denise. Woman: Well, that is not so bad. What did he call the boy? Doc: Denephew.

awh yeah

God i told you GEORGE

https://ift.tt/2NM0b2c

They forgetting who they love but not who they hate

https://ift.tt/358xbru

I looked up from my computer and asked my son, “Have you heard of the blind cyclops brothers?” Puzzled, he replied, “Uh, no.” I responded…

"Neither have eye."

What have they done to my boy Thomas

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What a riot

https://ift.tt/3519669

When Frontend is Ready before Backend

https://ift.tt/3dcfKtW

Don’t you love tumbler?

OMG GUYS I CANT BELIEVE THIS BLEW UP

A 90 year old Holocaust survivor told me this joke.

Two Jewish guys are walking when one notices a sign on a Catholic church that says "Convert to Christianity, and we'll give you $100." The one says to the other, "should we do it??" The other says "NO!! Are you crazy?" The first guy replies "Hey, a hundred dollars is a hundred dollars… I'm gonna do it." So he walks in to the church, and little while later, he walks back out. The friend says "well, did you get the money?" He replies "Oh that's all you people think about, isn't it??"

Frem Red Coat to Red Hat

https://ift.tt/31nHO8L

An employee is absent.

The boss wondered why one of his most valued employee was absent without giving any prior notice. Needing to have an urgent work problem resolved, he dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted by a child's whispered, "Hello." "Is your Daddy home?" he asked. "Yes," whispered the little voice. "May I talk with him?" The child whispered, "No." Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mommy there?" "Yes." "May I talk with her?" Again the small voice whispered, "No." Hoping there was someone with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, "Is anyone else there?" "Yes," whispered the child, "A policeman." Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?" "No, he's busy," whispered the child. "Busy doing what?" "Talking to Mommy and Daddy and the neighbours," came the whispered answer. Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, "What is that noise?" "A helicopter," answered the whispering voice. "What is going on there?" demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive. Again, whispering, the child answered, "The search team just landed a helicopter." Alarmed, confused, and a little frustrated, the boss asked, "What are they searching for?" Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle…"Me!"