Found it at the doctor’s office
Because his whole life he's Ben Solo
Actually, it's more of a wrap.
Authorities didn't press charges, saying "they felt bad" They thought a long sentence was the last thing he needed
Corona did what Trump promised
Me: "wow … that's a very long name, hungryAndDon'tSayHiHungryI'mDad"
In Germany, A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown and say, “That’s not it” and put it down again.
This went on for some time, until the general arranged to have the soldier psychologically tested. The psychologist concluded that the soldier was deranged, and wrote out his discharge from the army. The soldier picked it up, smiled and said, "That's it."
I got an email that said “You have won £36,769,011. To complete the transaction we will need your bank details.”
"Certainly," I replied. "It's a big building with money inside."
And there’s notre dame thing they can do about it.
The results speak for themselves.
Mom: Stares at Dad Dad: Clenches fist Mom: "Don't!" Dad: Sweats Profusely Mom: "…" Dad: "HI GAY, I'M DAD"
He said, "When I want your fucking advice, I'll ask for it" Hopefully there is a pay rise involved.
"I've gotta know, does Viagra really work?" The pharmacist replied, "it sure does. In fact, I use it myself." "Good to know. Can you get it over the counter?" "Well, yes, if I take two of them."
A boy comes home from school and tells his father that his homework is to learn the difference between theory and reality…
The father says ‘son, that’s easy. I’ll give you an example. Go into the kitchen and ask your mother if she would sleep with the plumber for a million dollars’. After a short while the son comes back from the kitchen and says ‘father, I have spoken with mother and she said she would sleep with the plumber for a million dollars’. The father says ‘okay, now go upstairs and ask your sister if she would sleep with the plumber for a million dollars’. After a short while the son comes down the stairs and says ‘father, I have spoken with my sister and she said she would sleep with the plumber for a million dollars’. The father says ‘There you have it son, that’s the difference between theory and reality. In theory, we’re sitting on two million dollars. In reality, we’re living with a couple of sluts’.
It’s hard finding enough women willing to wear the same outfit.
The high C.
On the other hand, everything is OK
I said "I do think it's rather re-markable."
My dog doesn’t even OWN a bike.
She asked for ice for some imaginary wound, and as I gave her the ice pack (shaped like a circle with five fingers), she told me, "Thanks, Dad, I just needed a hand." I've never been more proud.
It's ok though, it still saved me money.