Found on Instagram
because they have no windows
But then I’m a mime, so I can’t really talk.
A spelling bee!
In case they need to draw blood
I told The the judge. “All my wife does every night is go out bar after bar” “What is she doing” the judge replied “Looking for me”
He now has a rare medium well done
Imagine how surprised he must have been.
They just frowned and moved to another part of the silent disco.
I told her to get out of my fort.
but if no one likes it and it gets down-voted then so-v-iet
So i packed up my stuff and right.
After all, 2022 is 2020, too!
Like getting up early to go to work.
but that’s a wisk I’m willing to take.
…would they have to change their name to Knockers?
There is no menu. You get what you deserve.
It really makes my day.
… just buy some stocks. Then you'll have a bit of company.
I thought to myself "well I can't turn that down!"
"Yes, we arson."
Me: "That's literally all I drink."
Well, first it tied the records up, then it beat them…
After dying in a fatal car crash, 3 nuns end up at the pearly gates and the saint there tells them "Since you're so pure of heart and free of sin you can all go into the Kingdom of Heaven if you answer 3 questions. I'm going to ask you one question each." The saint turns to the first nun and asks: "Who were the first two humans God created?" She says: "Adam and Eve!" She gets into Heaven. The saint turns to the second nun and asks: "What was the one thing Adam and Eve were told not to do in the Garden of Eden?" She says: "They weren't allowed to eat the fruit of knowledge!" She gets into Heaven. The saint turns to the last nun – the mother superior – and says "Since you're the mother superior my last question is going to be difficult to answer, but if you answer correctly you can get into Heaven. So my question for you is: What was the first thing Eve said to Adam when they realized they were naked?" Now she has to think a little and as she thinks she's close to conceding, uttering "Gee, that's a hard one…" The saint lets her right into Heaven. The End.
I told my boyfriend we could watch a porn for his birthday and do everything that we saw in the video…
He was super psyched, until I fucked the pizza guy.
4 people on a raft each have a cigarette but no way to light them. One of them throws their cigarette over board..
And the raft becomes a cigarette lighter
You can only ran, because it’s past tents