found on r/memes
I saw my wife, slightly drunk, yelling at the TV: ‘Don’t go in there! Don’t go in the church, you moron!’
She was watching our wedding video again.
I am on day 9 of quarantine and was wondering if anyone had any porn sites they’d like to recommend other than:
Xvideos PornHub Xtube Ass parade Brazzers xHamster XNXX YouPorn YouJizz TastyBlacks HClips TnaFlix Tube8 Spankbang DrTuber Spankwire KeezMovies Nuvid SunPorno BravoTube PornHD Eporner SexVid XXXBunker TheNewPorn Mofosex… PornDreamer X18 Xbabe UpdateTube BeFuck Hdmovz PornRox PornMaki Pornid Inxporn TopFreePornVideos Slutload ProPorn FakePorn Pornhost HandjobHub Vpornvideos MyXVids Pornicom DansMovies Wetplace AdultFreex Wankflix 88fuck Fapdu Rude FreudBox AdultInc PornHeed HdPorn Orgasm PornRabbit MadThumbs Fux Eroxia DeviantClip Xxvids H2porn ApeTube MetaPorn YourLustMovies ElephantTube Long PornerBros Tubegalore 3movs Ass-Time HQButt BangBus BangBros Ghetto tube RedTube BrickHouseButts GhettoGaggers GloryHole Xvideos PornHub Xtube Ass parade Brazzers xHamster XNXX YouPorn YouJizz TastyBlacks HClips TnaFlix Tube8 Spankbang DrTuber Spankwire KeezMovies Nuvid SunPorno BravoTube PornHD Eporner SexVid XXXBunker TheNewPorn Mofosex… PornDreamer X18 Xbabe UpdateTube BeFuck Hdmovz PornRox PornMaki Pornid Inxporn TopFreePornVideos Slutload ProPorn FakePorn Pornhost HandjobHub Vpornvideos MyXVids Pornicom DansMovies Wetplace AdultFreex Wankflix 88fuck Fapdu Rude FreudBox AdultInc PornHeed HdPorn Orgasm PornRabbit MadThumbs Fux Eroxia DeviantClip Xxvids H2porn ApeTube MetaPorn YourLustMovies ElephantTube Long PornerBros Tubegalore 3movs Ass-Time HQButt BangBus BangBros Ghetto tube RedTube BrickHouseButts GhettoGaggers GloryHole Xvideos PornHub Xtube Ass parade Brazzers xHamster XNXX YouPorn YouJizz TastyBlacks HClips TnaFlix Tube8 Spankbang DrTuber Spankwire KeezMovies Nuvid SunPorno BravoTube PornHD Eporner SexVid XXXBunker TheNewPorn Mofosex… PornDreamer X18 Xbabe UpdateTube BeFuck Hdmovz PornRox PornMaki Pornid Inxporn TopFreePornVideos Slutload ProPorn FakePorn Pornhost HandjobHub Vpornvideos MyXVids Pornicom DansMovies Wetplace AdultFreex Wankflix 88fuck Fapdu Rude FreudBox AdultInc PornHeed HdPorn Orgasm PornRabbit MadThumbs Fux Eroxia DeviantClip Xxvids H2porn ApeTube MetaPorn YourLustMovies ElephantTube Long PornerBros Tubegalore 3movs Ass-Time HQButt BangBus BangBros Ghetto tube RedTube BrickHouseButts GhettoGaggers GloryHole General r/nsfw r/nsfw2 r/TipOfMyPenis r/bonermaterial r/porn r/nsfw411 r/iWantToFuckHer r/exxxtras r/distension r/bimbofetish r/christiangirls r/cuckold r/dirtygaming r/sexybutnotporn r/femalepov r/omgbeckylookathiscock /r/sexygirls r/breedingmaterial r/canthold r/toocuteforporn r/justhotwomen r/realsexyselfies r/stripgirls r/hotstuffnsfw r/uncommonposes r/gifsofremoval r/nostalgiafapping r/jizzedtothis r/verticalgifs r/pantyslide r/pornogram r/oilporn r/bisexy r/riskyporn MILF r/milf r/gonewild30plus r/preggoporn r/realmoms Teen r/legalteens r/collegesluts r/adorableporn r/legalteensXXX /r/gonewild18 r/18_19 r/just18 r/PornStarletHQ r/fauxbait Amateur r/realgirls r/amateur r/homemadexxx r/dirtypenpals r/FestivalSluts r/CollegeAmateurs r/amateurcumsluts r/nsfw_amateurs r/funwithfriends r/randomsexiness r/amateurporn r/normalnudes Cam r/Camwhores r/camsluts r/streamersgonewild Gonewild r/GoneWild r/PetiteGoneWild r/gonewildstories r/GoneWildTube r/treesgonewild r/gonewildaudio r/GWNerdy r/gonemild r/altgonewild r/gifsgonewild r/analgw r/gonewildsmiles r/onstageGW r/RepressedGoneWild r/bdsmgw r/UnderwearGW r/LabiaGW r/TributeMe r/WeddingsGoneWild r/gwpublic r/assholegonewild r/leggingsgonewild r/dykesgonewild r/goneerotic r/snapchatgw r/gonewildhairy r/gonewildtrans r/gonwild r/ratemynudebody r/gonewildhairy Age r/gonewild30plus r/gonewild18 r/onmww (formerly /r/ohnomomwentwild) Couples r/GWCouples r/gonewildcouples r/gwcumsluts r/WouldYouFuckMyWife Curves r/gonewildcurvy r/GoneWildplus r/BigBoobsGW r/bigboobsgonewild r/mycleavage Ethnicity r/AsiansGoneWild r/gonewildcolor r/indiansgonewild r/latinasgw r/pawgtastic Occupation r/workgonewild r/GoneWildScrubs r/swingersgw r/militarygonewild Snapchat r/NSFW_Snapchat r/snapchat_sluts r/snapleaks Wives r/wifesharing r/hotwife r/wouldyoufuckmywife r/slutwife r/cuckold Animated r/rule34 r/ecchi r/futanari r/doujinshi r/yiff r/monstergirl r/mechanicalsluts Comics r/rule34_comics r/sex_comics Video Games r/overwatch_porn r/pokeporn r/bowsette r/rule34lol r/rule34overwatch r/nintendowaifus r/34honor r/fivefapsatfreddys r/fortniters34 r/rainbowr34 r/fortniteporn r/breathofthegonewild r/animalcrossingr34 r/mortalcumbat r/apexlegends_porn r/templarssecret r/nsfwarframe r/tflewd r/thelostwoods Hentai r/hentai r/hentai_gif r/WesternHentai r/hentai_irl r/artistic_hentai r/hentaibeast r/hentaihumiliation r/traphentai r/guro r/ahegao r/ahegao_irl r/hypnohentai r/tentai r/handholding r/honeyfuckers r/itshiptofuckbees r/guro r/hentaibondage r/animeshorts r/kuroihada r/disgustedanimegirls r/2dtittytouching r/buttfangs r/yuri r/hentaibondage r/ZettaiRyouiki r/hentaifemdom r/animefeet r/thighhighhentai r/animebooty r/swimsuithentai r/animelegs r/animearmpits r/2dsuccubi r/animemidriff r/skindentation r/thighdeology r/chiisaihentai r/lovelivelewds r/bokunoeroacademia r/waifusgonewild r/sideoppai BDSM r/BDSM r/Bondage r/BDSMcommunity r/bdsmgw Blowjobs r/blowjobs r/deepthroat r/onherknees r/blowjobsandwich Ass r/ass r/asstastic r/facedownassup r/assinthong r/bigasses r/buttplug r/TheUnderbun r/booty r/pawg r/paag r/cutelittlebutts r/hipcleavage r/frogbutt r/HungryButts r/cottontails r/lovetowatchyouleave r/celebritybutts r/cosplaybutts r/mooning Anal r/anal r/analgw r/painal r/masterofanal r/buttsharpies Asshole r/asshole r/AssholeBehindThong r/assholegonewild r/spreadem r/candidasshole r/bendover r/ediblebuttholes r/faceandasshole Yoga pants r/girlsinyogapants r/yogapants Boobs/Nipples r/boobies r/TittyDrop r/boltedontits r/boobbounce r/boobs r/downblouse r/homegrowntits r/cleavage r/breastenvy r/youtubetitties r/torpedotits r/thehangingboobs r/page3glamour r/biggerthanyouthought Busty r/BustyPetite r/hugeboobs r/stacked r/burstingout r/BigBoobsGW r/bigboobsgonewild r/2busty2hide r/bigtiddygothgf r/engorgedveinybreasts Nipples r/pokies r/ghostnipples r/nipples r/puffies r/lactation Small r/tinytits r/aa_cups r/ilikelittlebutts Face r/braceface r/earspokingout Hair r/GirlswithNeonHair r/shorthairchicks r/blonde Legs/feet r/girlsinyogapants r/stockings r/legs r/tightshorts Feet r/buttsandbarefeet r/feet Thighs r/datgap r/thighhighs r/thickthighs r/thighdeology Pussy r/pussy r/rearpussy r/innie r/simps r/pelfie r/LabiaGW r/godpussy r/presenting r/cameltoe r/hairypussy r/lipsthatgrip r/pussytomouth r/fucklicking Mound r/moundofvenus r/pussymound Skin r/Hotchickswithtattoos r/sexyfrex r/tanlines r/oilporn r/ComplexionExcellence Waist/Tummy r/SexyTummies r/theratio Body Type r/fitgirls r/bodyperfection r/samespecies r/athleticgirls r/fitgirlsfucking Curvy/Thick/THICC r/gonewildcurvy r/curvy r/gonewildplus r/thick r/juicyasians r/voluptuous r/biggerthanyouthought r/jigglefuck r/chubby r/SlimThick r/massivetitsnass r/thicker r/thickthighs r/tightsqueeze r/casualjiggles r/bbw Petite r/BustyPetite r/dirtysmall r/petitegonewild /r/xsmallgirls r/funsized r/hugedicktinychick Celebrity/Athlete r/Athlete r/volleyballgirls r/Ohlympics Celebrity r/celebnsfw r/WatchItForThePlot r/nsfwcelebarchive /r/celebritypussy r/oldschoolcoolNSFW r/extramile r/jerkofftocelebs r/celebritybutts r/onoffcelebs Cum r/cumsluts r/GirlsFinishingTheJob r/cumfetish r/amateurcumsluts r/cumcoveredfucking r/cumhaters r/thickloads r/before_after_cumsluts r/pulsatingcumshots r/impressedbycum r/cummy Cum Location r/creampies r/throatpies r/FacialFun r/cumonclothes r/oralcreampie Emotion r/HappyEmbarrassedGirls r/unashamed r/borednignored r/annoyedtobenude Ethnicity r/damngoodinterracial Asian r/AsianHotties r/AsiansGoneWild r/realasians r/juicyasians r/AsianNSFW r/nextdoorasians r/asianporn r/bustyasians r/paag Indian r/IndianBabes r/indiansgonewild r/jerkofftodesicelebs Japanese r/NSFW_Japan r/javdownloadcenter Korean r/kpopfap r/NSFW_Korea Ebony r/WomenOfColor r/darkangels r/blackchickswhitedicks r/ebony r/Afrodisiac Ginger r/ginger r/redheads Latina r/latinas r/latinasgw r/latinacuties White r/palegirls r/pawg r/snowwhites Gifs r/NSFW_GIF r/nsfw_gifs r/porn_gifs r/porninfifteenseconds r/CuteModeSlutMode r/60fpsporn r/NSFW_HTML5 r/the_best_nsfw_gifs Groups r/twingirls r/groupofnudegirls r/Ifyouhadtopickone Hardcore r/nsfwhardcore r/SheLikesItRough r/strugglefucking r/jigglefuck r/freeuse r/whenitgoesin r/outercourse r/gangbang r/breeding r/pegging r/insertions r/passionx Large Penis r/hugedicktinychick r/amateurgirlsbigcocks Positions r/facesitting r/nsfw_plowcam r/pronebone r/facefuck High Quality r/60fpsporn r/highresNSFW r/NSFW_HTML5 Incest r/incestporn r/wincest r/lovingfamily r/gaywincest Individuals r/sarah_xxx r/remylacroix r/Anjelica_Ebbi r/BlancNoir r/rileyreid r/dollywinks r/tessafowler r/lilyivy r/funsizedasian r/mycherrycrush r/gillianbarnes r/kawaiikitten r/emilybloom r/legendarylootz r/sexyflowerwater r/miamalkova r/sashagrey r/keriberry_420 r/justpeachyy r/angelawhite r/miakhalifa r/alexapearl r/missalice_18 r/lanarhoades r/evalovia r/GiannaMichaels r/arianamarie Lesbian r/lesbians r/StraightGirlsPlaying r/girlskissing r/mmgirls r/dykesgonewild r/facesittinglesbians Masturbation/Orgasm r/holdthemoan r/O_faces r/jilling r/gettingherselfoff r/quiver r/GirlsHumpingThings r/forcedorgasms r/mmgirls r/ruinedorgasms r/holdingit Dildos r/suctiondildos r/baddragon Wet women r/grool r/squirting Men r/ladybonersgw r/massivecock r/chickflixxx r/gaybrosgonewild r/sissies r/dattaint r/selffuck r/sounding Furry NSFW r/furryporn r/furryporndump r/yiff r/ZootopiaPorn r/yiffgif r/FurryPornSubreddit r/gfur r/femyiff r/silentyiff r/gayfurryporn r/yiffcomics r/Sharktits r/ArousingAvians r/anthroids r/anthropokeporn r/DragonPenis r/DragonsFuckingDragons r/FeralPokePorn r/FurryFrot r/GayPokePorn r/HorsecocksMasterRace r/PokePornGay r/scalieporn r/WholesomeYiff Outfits r/OnOff r/nsfwoutfits r/girlswithglasses r/collared r/seethru r/sweatermeat r/cfnm r/nsfwfashion r/leotards Bikinis r/bikinis r/bikinibridge Costumes r/nsfwcosplay r/nsfwcostumes r/girlsinschooluniforms Dresses r/WtSSTaDaMiT r/tightdresses r/upskirt Stockings/Socks r/stockings r/thighhighs r/leggingsgonewild Pants/Shorts r/Bottomless_Vixens r/tightshorts Yoga pants r/girlsinyogapants r/yogapants Underwear r/lingerie r/garterbelts Thongs r/assinthong r/AssholeBehindThong Professional/Sites r/suicidegirls Public r/ChangingRooms r/workgonewild r/trashyboners r/FlashingGirls r/publicflashing r/sexinfrontofothers r/NotSafeForNature r/gwpublic r/realpublicnudity r/socialmediasluts r/flashingandflaunting Trans r/Tgirls r/traps r/futanari r/gonewildtrans r/tgifs Gay: r/gaysex r/topsandbottoms r/lgbtsex r/gaykink r/gayBDSMcommunity r/gaygonewild r/gaybrosgonewild r/gaymersgonewild r/gayselfies r/gaybears r/LGBTgonewild r/bigonewild r/gayNSFW r/gayerotica Bondage r/forcedorgasms r/damselsindistress r/cuffed r/gagged r/abuseporn r/femaleorgasmdenial r/girlscontrolled Video r/pornvids r/nsfw_videos Meet People r/dirtysnapchat Other NSFW r/randomactsofblowjob r/NSFWFunny r/pornhubcomments r/confusedboners r/dirtykikpals r/nsfw_wtf r/randomactsofmuffdive r/stupidslutsclub r/sluttyconfessions r/sextrophies Armpits cause people like that r/armpits r/celebrityarmpits r/armpitfetish I don’t even know where the fuck this would go section r/dragonsfuckingcars r/SCPORN r/fedlegs r/cummingonfigurines r/dragonbutts r/dragonpussy r/dragonpenis These have gotten boring 😔 Any help is much appreciated. Thanks.
A cop stops a Harley for travelling faster than the posted speed limit, so he asks the biker his name
'Fred,' he replies. 'Fred what?' the officer asks. 'Just Fred,' the man responds. The officer is in a good mood and thinks he might just give the biker a break and, write him out a warning instead of a ticket. The officer then presses him for the last name. The man tells him that he used to have a last name but lost it. The officer thinks that he has a nut case on his hands but plays along with it. 'Tell me, Fred, how did you lose your last name?' The biker replies, 'It's a long story, so stay with me.' I was born Fred Dingaling. I know — a funny last name. The kids used to tease me all the time, so I stayed to myself, studied hard and got good grades. When I got older, I realized that I wanted to be a doctor. I went through college, medical school, internship, residency, and finally got my degree, so I was Fred Dingaling, MD. After a while I got bored being a doctor, so I decided to go back to school.. Dentistry was my dream! Got all the way through school, got my degree, so then I was Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS. Got bored doing dentistry, so I started fooling around with my assistant and she gave me VD, so now I was Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS, with VD. Well, the ADA found out about the VD, so they took away my DDS. Then I was Fred Dingaling, MD, with VD. Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as Fred Dingaling with VD. Then the VD took away my Dingaling, so now I am Just Fred.' The officer walked away in tears, laughing.
16 sodium atoms walk into a bar…
Followed by Batman.
Lately, I’ve been really afraid of elevators.
I've been taking steps to avoid them.
Guys who try to pick up girls through Reddit are pathetic
Ladies if you agree with me message me your number and we can discuss it more. Maybe over dinner or a movie or something.
Why was the restaurant so slow?
The servers were down.
It’s a boomers humor Christmas! Found in a sixty-year-old women’s feed unironically.
https://ift.tt/2t4wstl
Wife and I got a flat tire driving back from the farmer’s market
I should have bought asparagus
Did you hear about the man who sat next to his clone on the train?
He was beside himself
This dude had beautiful long hair 5 years ago. Very funny comment but also Oof.
https://ift.tt/2ywG2Za
I don’t like thin pancakes..
They just crepe me out.
The shovel was a groundbreaking invention
But everyone was blown away by the leaf blower.
I’m a big fan of whiteboards
I find them quite re-markable.
A husband and wife visit a marriage counselor. First, the wife speaks to the counselor alone.
The counselor asks her, “You say you’ve been married 20 years. So what seems to be the problem?” “The wife replies, “It’s my husband. He’s driving me crazy! I’m going to leave him if he continues!” “How does he drive you crazy?” “For 20 years,” she says, “he’s been doing these stupid things. First, whenever we go out, he’s always looking at the floor and refuses to go near anyone. It’s very embarrassing.” The marriage counselor is amused, “Anything else?” “He keeps picking his nose all the time! Even in public!” “Hmm, anything else?” The wife hesitates, “Whenever we’re making love, he NEVER lets me be on top! Once in a while, I’d like to be in control!” “Ah,” says the counselor, “I think I’ll talk to your husband now.” So the wife goes out of the room and the husband says to the counselor, “For years I’ve been loving and considerate and I’ve always given her what she wants! What could be the problem?” The counselor explains, “She says you’ve got these habits that are driving her crazy. First, you’re always acting strange in public—looking at the floor and never going near anyone else.” The husband looks concerned, “Oh, you don’t understand! It’s one of the few things my father told me to do on his deathbed and I swore I’d obey everything he said.” “What did he say?” “He said that I should never step on anyone’s toes!” The counselor looks amused, “Actually, that means that you should not do anything that would cause anyone else to get angry.” The husband looks sheepish, “Oh. Okay.” The counselor continues, “And you keep picking your nose in public.” “Well, it’s another thing my father specifically commanded me to do! He told me to always keep my nose clean.” The counselor smiles. “That just means you should stay out of trouble. And,” he continued, “finally, she says that you never allow her to be on top during your lovemaking.” “This,” says the husband, “is the last thing my father commanded me to do on his deathbed, and it’s the most important thing.” “What did he say?” The husband replies, “With his dying breath, he said, ‘Don’t screw up.’”
Abe and Esther are flying to Australia for a two week vacation to celebrate their 40th anniversary.
Suddenly, over the public address system, the Captain announces, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news. Our engines have ceased functioning and we will attempt an emergency landing. Luckily, I see an uncharted island below us and we should be able to land on the beach. However, the odds are that we may never be rescued and will have to live on the island for the rest of our lives!" Thanks to the skill of the flight crew, the plane lands safely on the island. An hour later Abe turns to his wife and asks, "Esther, did we pay our $5,000 PBS pledge check yet?" "No, sweetheart," she responds. Abe, still shaken from the crash landing, then asks, "Esther, did we pay our American Express card yet?" "Oh, no! I’m sorry. I forgot to send the check," she says. "One last thing, Esther. Did you remember to send checks for the Visa and MasterCard this month?" he asks. "Oh, forgive me, Abie," begged Esther. "I didn’t send that one, either." Abe grabs her and gives her the biggest kiss in 40 years. Esther pulls away and asks him, "What was that for?" Abe answers, "They’ll find us!"
I proposed to a mime today,
"Will you mirror me?" She was speechless.
I asked my wife if I was the only one she’s been with.
She said, "Yes, the others were at least sevens or eights".
A farmer asked his dad if he could round up his 36 sheep
“Sure,” said the dad “40.”
Oedipus joke
Oedipus: Oracle, what’s going to happen to me? Oracle: you’re going to kill your father and marry joe. Oedipus: whose Joe?
Sandy, an 18 year old boy, desperately wants a car.
However, his mother forcibly tells him no. Sandy, undeterred, decides to get a job to pay. He applies for many jobs, ranging from a mechanic to delivering newspapers. However, he is not accepted for any of them. Slowly, he gives up on his dream of buying a car. Weeks later, Sandy tells his mother that he has got a job as a fence fixer. She is overjoyed for him, but something doesn't seem right. She has noticed her son occasionally sneaking out at nights. One night, she follows him, all the way to the rich neighbourhood on the other side of town. She watches as he rips out a fence from the front lawn of a house, and lays it down next to its foundations. Just before he leaves, she confronts him. "Why have you been destroying other people's fences?" she asks. "They will pay me the next day to fix it," Sandy answers, ashamed. "Rich people can give me up to £100 just for putting their fence back." "But why do you need the money?" Sandy looks up. "You see, reposting is the quickest way to car, ma."
I always take an extra pair of socks when I go golfing
In case I get a hole in one
I was in the supermarket when a guy threw a block of cheese at me.
I looked over at him and shouted, “Well that’s not very mature is it??”
I like my women like I like my coffee,
hot and all over my crotch when I’m driving.
What’s a bowlers favorite kind of vegetable?
A spare I guess
What do you call 100 rabbits in a single file line marching backwards?
A receding hare line.
My girlfriend broke up with me when she went away to college.
She said she was majoring in bye-ology.
The wife is mad at me
My wife caught me peeing in the shower, and the people at Lowe's are still mad about it.
My wife just gave me a restraining order..
Who knew there was an incorrect way to use a colander….
My Computer is a lot like a Chargers game
They both only have two fans
What does a house wear to a party?
Address.
What’s everyone doing next month?
Cause I’m not sure – I don’t have 2020 vision. You’re welcome, Dad
During a parole hearing.
Officer: Tell me, why should you be released early? Prisoner: It's bec… Officer: Yes? Prisoner: I think i have… Officer: Go on. Prisoner: Can i please finish my sentence! Officer: Sure, Parole denied.
Asked my bud what he’d do if the 1st Amendment was abolished.
He couldn't say