Found this in r/memes couldn’t find it in here so I hope in the first to post it lol
That was the most violent book I've ever read.
The plot thickens.
They are in heaven trying to enter the pearly gates when St. Peter asks the first girl, " Tiffany, have you ever had any contact with a male organ? She giggles and shyly replies, "Well, I once touched the head of one with the tip of my finger." St. Peter says, " Okay, dip the tip of your finger in the Holy Water and pass through the gate." St. Peter asks the next girl the same question, "Jennifer, have you ever had any contact with a male organ?" The girl is a little reluctant but replies, "Well, once I fondled and stroked one." St. Peter says, " Okay, dip your whole hand in the Holy Water and pass through the gate." All of a sudden, there is a lot of commotion in the line of girls. One girl is pushing her way to the front of the line. When she reaches the front, St.Peter says, "Reeva, What seems to be the rush?" The girl replies, "If I’m going to have to gargle that Holy Water, I want to do it before Jessica sticks her ass in it."
I hate being a teacher.
They take the psycho path.
But when i got home, all the signs were there.
The Australians. They asked you to take a “proper gander over there”
Anna I. Anna II. Anna I, II, III.
One is a funny beast and the other is a bunny feast.
I guess I only have my shelf to blame
She's old enough to order 12 fascinating issues of Zoobooks for $19.95 if she calls 1-800-441-2400. When she calls, they'll include the bonus Elephants issue, stickers, and Tiger Poster with her order.
I like to sit in my own pew. Credit to my 7 year old granddaughter.
Unless you’re prepared to handle the reaper cushions.
Because there is a lot of reposting to do.
“I will disappear on the count of three! Uno…dos…” And he disappeared without a tres.
Still can't believe it
He got the axe after making a cutting remark about some dead wood.
It keeps giving me mixed results.
I was putting the outlet cover back on the wall while my wife was working at the computer with her back to me…
She said “what are you doing? What is that noise?” I said “I’ve been screwing around behind your back.” She whipped around in shock and saw me, screwdriver in hand, screwing in the outlet cover. I found it way more entertaining then she did.
Now I’m in hot water with the Japanese mafia.
A look over the shoulder.
Quick answers please.