From r/memes
I don’t know if this is a repost but some boomer on a discord server posted this
https://ift.tt/36JRQDy
Why don’t fairies live under toadstools?
Because there's not mushroom!
It’s an exact model because the dna doesn’t change at all there’s just more of them
https://ift.tt/35YyhXa
I hate vacuum cleaners. They suck.
No text found
Once I was a male trapped in a female body..
Then I was born.
A university student wanted to sit next to one of his teachers at lunch
However, the teacher looked at the student with an arrogant face and said: 'A swan shan't be friends with a pig.' 'Then I shall fly on,' answered the student with a smile. The teacher was clearly vexed by the cheeky reply and decided to make sure to do everything in his power to fail the student at the exams. At the oral exam, he gave the student the hardest questions, but the student had amazing answers for everything. Therefore, hoping he could still fail his victim, the teacher asked him a trickier question: 'You're walking on a road and you find two bags. One contains gold, the other cleverness. Which bag do you choose?' 'The gold.' 'Unfortunately, I don't agree. I'd choose cleverness, because that's more important than money.' 'Everyone would choose what they don't have,' says the student. The teacher turns red, and he's so angry he writes "ass" on the student's paper. The student leaves without looking at the paper. However, he returns shortly, gives back his paper and says: 'Excuse me sir, you did sign my paper, but you forgot to give my grade!'
Sometimes I talk to myself for no reason.
Yeah me too.
A truckload of Vick’s vaporub overturned on the highway.
Amazingly, there was no congestion for 8 hours.
Sign outside strip club shuttered due to COVID-19:
“Sorry, we’re clothed.”
Dogs can’t operate MRI scanners.
But CATSCAN.
Never smoking weed with Mexicans again
I asked who has papers and they all took off running
Whenever I’m sad my friend always says “cheer up man, it could be worse. You could be stuck underground in a hole that is full of water”
I know he means well… Edit: WOAH! my first silver. Thank you anonymous stranger!
Did you know crocodiles can grow up to 15 feet?
But most of then just have 4.
Whoever invented the knock knock joke should get an award.
Like no bell prize.
“I’m sorry but your wife didn’t make it,” A doctor said as he handed a man his newborn baby.
The man handed the baby back to the doctor. "Then bring me the one my wife did make."
Someone broke into my garage and stole my limbo stick.
Seriously… How low can you go?
A dung beetle walks into a bar…
Is this stool taken?
Is the world ready for ejaculating clocks?
I guess we'll know when the time comes.
What do you call 100 rabbits in a single file line marching backwards?
A receding hare line.
It wasn’t much fun when I broke my neck last year.
But now I can look back and laugh.
My wife is threatening to leave me because of my obsession with acting like a TV news anchor.
More on this after the break.
Which days are the strongest?
Saturday and Sunday, the rest are weekdays.
What do you call an unvaccinated Italian?
Marco Polio
What did the two suicidal people say to each other?
nothing….. they were just hanging….
Someone broke into my garage earlier today and stole my limbo stick.
I mean, how low can you go?
A priest, a rabbit, and a minister walk into a bar. The bartender asks the rabbit, “What’ll ya have?”
The rabbit says, “I dunno. I’m only here because of Autocorrect.”
Can we uninstall 2020 and install it again?
This version has a virus.
What do you call children born in whorehouses?
Brothel sprouts.
Otherwise
Otherwise
My wife and I were talking about people owning strange animals and she said, “I’ve always wanted to get a manatee.”
I said, “Thank you very much, I’ll have it with milk and two sugars please.”
I started carrying a knife after an attempted mugging few years ago.
Since then, my mugging attempts have been a lot more successful.
![R.I.P big guy! [Not Humour]](https://jokejet.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/gbqvzq1mkzh41-400x463.jpg)
Our wedding was so beautiful…
even the cake was in tiers.
My wife’s leaving me because she says I have an unhealthy obsession with Africa…
Kenya believe it? I'm Ghana miss her.
