Funny flex tape man
But then i turned myself around.
They've got plenty of wheelpower.
"you mean a choir?" Fine… How much does it cost to "acquire" a large singing group?
"G'day mate, Aussie Helpline here …What's the problem,cobber?" "I'm in Darwin with my Sheila and she's been stung on the minge by a wasp, and now her pussy has completely closed up." "Bummer, mate..!" "Thanks mate, I hadn't thought of that, Bye."
It has a nice ring to it.
"Who's the lucky man, sweetheart?" "Mike the mailman." "Mike the mailman? But he could be your father!" "But mom, age is just a number." "Sweetheart, I don't think you understood."
…now I sneak out of parties to go home.
…and then I saw her face…
I will not die in vein!
But today, I ran over 5 miles
She told me she doesn't want to bother me while I'm at work.
Oops, wrong place for this post
Because of all of the sand which is there.
Son: But Dad my name is Scott. How could I be named after him? Dad: He was named in 1706.
The other vowel says, “Aye E! I owe you!”
No text found
It's a cover version.
"Bartender! A drink for everyone, a drink for me, and a drink for yourself!" The man yells as he approaches. The bartender pours all the drinks, the whole bar cheers, they all drink. The bartender hands the bill to the man, and he just shrugs and says, "Oh I didn't bring my wallet with me tonight, sorry." The bartender proceeds to beat the living daylights out of the man and throws him out. The next night, the bartender is again behind his bar when the same well dressed but intoxicated man stumbles in. "Bartender! A drink for everyone, a drink for me, and a drink for yourself!" The man happily announces as he approaches. The bartender thinks, "This guy cant be that stupid, he probably came to pay. Now I feel bad for beating him so hard last night." He pours all the drinks, the the whole bar cheers, they all drink. Bartender hands the bill to the man, and he again shrugs and says, "Oh I didn't bring my wallet with me again, sorry." The bartender proceeds to beat the man even harder and kicks him out. Third night in a row, the bartender just cant believe his eyes when he sees the man return. "Bartender! A drink for everyone, and a drink for me!" The man calls out as he approaches. The bartender is fuming and grins sardonically, "What, no drink for ME tonight?" The drunk looks at him and says, "Nah man, you get way too violent when you drink."
Also heard something like:Faster you go slower the time around you. So if you move as fast as light ,which is the limit, the time will stop around you. And if you go faster than light you will travel back in time.(I’m not sure of that information so please correct me if I’m wrong)
Not enough people really talk about England very much
I love Harry Potter but after re-reading the chapter the death-day party I realized something about nearly headless nick
He was a very poorly executed character
Because seven was a well known six offender
Now I am at the hospital.
When an old man approaches. "Well, what have you done to deserve entry to Heaven?" Asks St Peter. "To be honest." replies the man, "I am merely a simple carpenter. It was my son who was truly great. Although he wasn't my biological son… his birth was miraculous, still I loved him very much. Later in life he went through many trials and transformations. He spread joy and his story is told all over the world even to this day." Jesus looks at the man, with a tear in his eye, and says "Father?" The man looks back; "… Pinocchio?"
Yes, we arson.
So I had to put my foot down.
The rabbit says, "I'm a type O."
I replied, "Probably failing my driving test."
I have serious emotional attachment issues.
They buzz them in.