He keeps saying, "I can't go on, I hate my life". My roommate's too selfish to notice. He's always crying.
I stopped the car and he asked me if I could give him a few directions. 'Certainly,' I replied, 'up, down, east and west.' Then I drove off.
I wouldn't know, I'm just the drone operator. Edit: Thanks for the gold (career first) :0
I’ve had a Canon printer for years.
A hungry traveler stopped at a monastery and was taken to the kitchen where a brother was frying chips…
"Are you the friar?" he asked. The brother replied "No. I'm the chip monk."
Bartender: I'm sorry, we don't serve food here.
When it's fully groan.
For my black jeep…
When a short person waves at you, it's called a microwave
The rule, as she explained it, was that in order to determine if a particular comment was appropriate to say to a woman, first ask yourself, 'Would I be comfortable saying this to Dwayne Johnson?' If not, don't say it. I thought this sounded like a good rule. So I told her: "I think the stubble suits you!"
On the other hand, I’m okay.
But hay, it's in my jeans.
Then it's a soap opera
You could say they are charging a Pee-mium.
I’ll show him!
“I’m a Watt?”
He came closer and asked what problem is. Old man: I’m looking for my son, but I’m gonna lose my hope. Jesus pitied the man and said, “let’s look for your son together.” After some time, Jesus asked him that if he has some birthmark or else to recognize him more easily. Yes, said the old man. “He had nails driven on his hands and feet.” Jesus started and hugged the man, saying “FATHER!” The old man screamed happily, “PINOCCHIO!”
They are below the C level.
A neigh-sayer. 😛