game skill funny haha
I stole seven crows yesterday.
Got away with murder.
It really do be like that
Why don’t Chinese kids believe in Santa Claus?
Because they make the toys.
The Conservative Utopia
Cards Against Developers
Someone threw cheese at me…
When my program says “(Not Responding)”
I asked the toy store clerk where the Arnold Schwarzenegger action figures were.
She replied, "Aisle B, back"
is snoop a boomer?
This guy speaks nothing but the truth
Donald Trump gives a speech to the troops going to Iran 2020 colorized
Did you heard about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were Prime mates.
A good number of my friends are racist.
Precisely zero – and that is a good number.
My code finally works!!
Aragorn and Legolas walk into a bar
Gimli laughs and walks under it
Called my friend.
I called my friend just now and said, "I have a joke for you." Friend: "Ok shoot" Me: "What has a tiny penis and hangs down?" Friend: "I dunno what?" Me: A bat.. now what has an enormous penis and hangs up? Friend: I dunno what? Click
Haha, woman cheat!
My doctor friend is addicted to hitting his patients on their knees to check their reflexes.
He really gets a kick out of it.
Kids these days (crosspost from r/im14andthisisdeep)
Mexico may end up paying for that wall after all….
🥳How To Pretend You Are An Awesome UX Designer 🙈| funny (Sketch)
He even thanked himself. Not the Onion.
Remember when the Republicans acted in good faith?
should’ve been vaccinated
So, you don’t trust a doctor to stitch you up?
Fine. Suture self.
I have the opposite of an amputee fetish.
I am lack toes intolerant.
Friend sent me this
The rules for religions and penises are the same.
It's okay to have one, and it's okay to be proud of it, but don't whip it out in public and don't shove it down children's throats.
For an English assignment…
2 lawyers are in a restaurant eating their sandwiches.
The owner walks in and says, "You can't eat your own food in here!" The lawyers sigh and swap sandwiches.
How is that possible
Who sits down to make this?
My town’s population never changes.
Every time a girl gets pregnant, a guy leaves town.
How do dancers ensure job continuity during the Covid crisis?
They twerk from home.
The local humane society is giving away male geese for free.
I might go take a gander.
Do you remember?
Have truer words ever been spoken?
Today on “the millennials killed…”
Why don’t Africans eat at the restaurant?
Because they always Ghana order Togo.
So true 😂
Scientist walks into bar with an apple…
He sits down and the bartender says, "what's the apple for?" Scientist says "I made this apple taste like a screwdriver. Here, try it." The bartender grabs it and takes a bite. "Woah! Tastes like vodka!" "Turn it around," the scientist says. The bartender turns it around and takes another bite. "Tastes like orange juice! This is amazing! Now if only you could make it taste like pussy!" The scientist gives a look as he stands up and leaves the bar. The bartender feels bad assuming he offended the scientist. Several months later the scientist comes running into the bar screaming, " I did it! I did it! I made this apple taste like pussy!" Excited the bartender grabs it out of his hand and takes a bite. Groaning with disgust he spits it out all over the floor. "Yuck this tastes like shit!" The scientist smiles and says," turn it around."
Science Reddit— explain yourself!
Denise, please return my vape pen
how boomer of you
What do you call a bee who never brags?
A humble bee
There’s a new reality show where flat-earthers are trying to find the edge of the world…
They’ll be so disappointed when the finale is not a cliffhanger…
My uncle sent this in the family WhatsApp group
It’s a weird word, but it does sound cool
The shovel was one of the greatest invention
This invention was ground breaking
Bye bye TDD
On hearing that her elderly grandfather has just passed away, Katie goes straight to her grandparents’ house to visit her 95-year-old grandmother and comfort her.
When she asks how her grandfather has died, her grandmother replies, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning." Horrified, Katie tells her grandmother that two people nearly 100 years old having sex will surely be asking for trouble. "Oh no, my dear. Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. It was nice, slow, and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the ding and out on the dong." She pauses, wipes away a tear and then continues, "And if that damned ice cream truck hadn't come along, he'd still be alive today!"
Hahaha, virology noobs
What did the burglar say when he detonated a bomb to get into Fort Knox?
Edit: Wow, this blew up. Thanks for the gold!
Sad but true
Your Girlfriend Is Pregnant !
Guy: But doctor that can't be right. We use condoms everytime we have sex. Doctor: Well, the test result would suggest otherwise. Maybe the condom broke? Guy: No I'm sure it didn't. Doctor: Alright then. Let me tell you a story. A guy was wandering in the forest where he encountered a tiger. The tiger looked really ferocious and the guy knew that he was doomed. Cornered, the guy then points his umbrella's tip at the tiger and shouts Bang at the tiger. The tiger died. Guy: That can't be right. Someone else must have shot the tiger. Doctor: Exactly.
My son wanted some girl advice, so I told him, “If you are intimidated by a date, remember one thing.”
They are just big raisins.
stay at home so lazy haha
Big Bird, what are you doing?
I thought you were bringing the black guy?
Hey, don’t tax them just in case I start making that much!
Last one in the bunker turn off the lights.
R.I.P Steve Irwin
Bullshittery at its finest.