Geology rocks but geography is where it’s at
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I hope Elon Musk never gets involved in a scandal
Elongate would be really drawn out.
A German walks into a bar and asks for a martini. The bartender asks “Dry?”
The German replies "Nein, just one."
A nun is having a bath when she hears a knock of the door….
She says "who is it?" "It's the blind man" comes the response. Ok, thinks the nun. "Come in then". In walks the man; "nice tits, now where do you want this blind?"
My stupid cousin thinks he’s collected one of every board game ever made.
That idiot doesn't have a Clue.
Why do women wear panties with flowers on them?
In loving memory of all the faces that have been buried there.
People keep telling me I’m the worst mailman they’ve ever seen.
Shit, I meant to post this somewhere else.
A lady accidentally locks herself out of her car and begins to panic.
A passing soldier notices this, walks over and rolls his pants across the car. Magically, the car unlocks. The woman is relieved but puzzled, asking him how he did it. "That's easy. These are khakis."
What do you call a flower getting a sex change?
A Transplant
I just found out where Captain Hook got its hook
He got it from a second-hand store
I saw a frenchmen playing a Wii.
He called it a Yes Box.
What do you call a male Mummy with a cold?
I'm not sure either. Sir Cough I guess.
I’ll never forget my granddad’s last words to me just before he died…
“Are you still holding the ladder!?”
When you see your Gurt
Yo, Gurt!
How does Bono spell “color”?
With or without "u"
![[MEME] When Hitchcock and Sculley are called to action](https://jokejet.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/ndvo77ka73x41-400x551.jpg)
My five year old…
..and I are watching a movie Me: Why are those piranha's biting that guys butt? My five year old: Because they're BOTTOM FEEDERS! Get it?! BOTTOM FEEDERS
What does the scrotum of a catholic priest look like?
Stupid question, even a child knows that.
What’s the similarity between a woman living in Saudi Arabia and Amsterdam?
They both get stoned after sex
I was watching a porno the other day and it was just a guy crying and wanking
Then I realized I hadn't turned the TV on.
When does a bad joke become a dad joke?
When the punchline becomes apparent
What do you call the testicles of a peacock?
His peanuts
What do you get when you cross Willy Wonka with stolen fizzy lifting drinks?
You get NOTHING! YOU LOSE! GOOD DAY, SIR!
9 out of 10 dermatologists agree that towels…
…are the leading cause of dry skin.
I once swallowed a dictionary…
It gave me thesaurus throat I’ve ever had…
Classic joke for our Muslim friends today
There were two white christian men, John and Mike, whose plane crashed into a desert. Luckily they survived unharmed. As they traveled through the hot desert looking for food and water, they gave up and sat down, thinking of what to do. As the dust in the air settled, they suddenly could view a mosque ahead. They became very hopeful. But then John said ''Muslims are there. They might help us if we say we are Muslim.'' Then Mike said ''No way, I won't say I'm Muslim, I'm gonna be honest''. So John and Mike went to the Mosque ahead and were greeted by an Arab Muslim, who asked what their names were. John thought of a Muslim name and said, 'My name is Muhammad'. And Mike said 'My name is Mike'. The Arab man said 'Hello Mike.' And told these other men to take Mike and give him food and drink. Then he turned to John and said, 'Salaam Muhammad. Ramadan Mubarak! (Hello Muhammad, Happy Ramadan)
Some people are really worried about getting trapped in a cave full of minerals
but to me that's just a minor problem
Not only did someone post this on Facebook, they reposted it again. Boomer- 100
https://ift.tt/2UMcUFi
My surname is Turner and my daughter…
Well she’s a real Paige Turner
My wife and I share a sense of humour
We have to. She doesn't have one.
