They were sole mates
Because no one could keep a straight face calling him Master Vader.
When he sees 2 spiders. He asks me, "Is that a mummy longlegs under that daddy longlegs?" No son, there is no mummy longlegs only daddy longlegs." I felt pretty proud of my answer, until he stomps on both spiders saying, "We'll have none of that gay shit in our fucking garden"
That has left scientists scratching their heads.
With a silent “cr”.
Does that make me an Axe murderer?
P. It's like R, but missing a leg.
The Final Countdown
On the one hand, you get to wear a pretty cool ring. On the other hand, you don’t.
Let's all just stick to inside jokes for now.
They lied, everyone else has clothes on.
They don’t have the guts.
And I think I strained my voice.
Two factory workers are talking. The woman says, "I can make the boss give me the day off." The man replies, "And how would you do that?" The woman says, "Just wait and see." She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling. The boss comes in and says, "What are you doing?" The woman replies, "I'm a light bulb." The boss then says, "You've been working so much that you've gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off." The man starts to follow her and the boss says, "Where are you going?" The man says, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark."
A kiss will make your day, but anal will make your hole weak.
It’s a small world.
With little Caesars (Seezors)
They were dentical twins.
My credit card number My social security number Uploading a scan of my birth certificate
and it doesn't.
“I want to open a fucking checking account.” The astonished woman replies, “I beg your pardon, but we don’t tolerate language like that in this bank.” The teller then leaves the window and walks over to her manager to explain the situation. The manager agrees that the teller shouldn’t have to put up with that kind of language. They both return to the window and the manager asks the man, “Sir, what seems to be the problem here?” “There is no fucking problem” the man says. “I just won $500 million in the damn lottery and I want to put my fucking money in this damn bank.” “Oh, I see.” says the manager. “And is this bitch giving you a hard time, Sir?”
So I was driving uber tonight and I picked up a girl from the dorms at a college. She sat in the front and we were chatting when suddenly she sneezed
Now. I didn't realize it while talking, but she had a glass eye, and when she sneezed her glass eye came flying out at me. I caught it, handed it back to her and she popped it in and said thank you. I didn't know what else to say… So, we rode in silence for the rest of the trip until we got to the pub. When we arrived at the bar, she turned and asked if she could have my number. I was flattered because she was so pretty, but I told her I was happily engaged. She smiled at me and said, "That's a shame, you really caught my eye."
You are the dancing queen, young and sweet, now in quarantine You can dance, you can jive, but you can’t go outside See that girl, watch that scene, but only through a screen
Chicken, vegetable, and beef. You’ll be a bouillonaire in no time.
Are you having a crisis?
I've never paid $100 to have a lentil on me.
It would definitely spice up my autobiography.
I told him, "It seems you are a father now, a parent Lee."
I’m getting sick of them
I’ll only be telling inside jokes.