Gonna milk this one
“Poor Old fool,” thought the well-dressed gentleman as he watched an old man fish in a puddle outside a pub. So he invited the old man inside for a drink. As they sipped their whiskeys, the gentleman thought he’d humor the old man and asked, “So how many have you caught today?” The old man replied, “You’re the eighth.”
On average, a panda feeds for approximately 12 hours a day. It’s the same with humans under quarantine.
That’s why it’s called a “Pandemic”.
He said, "So you know how we finish each others' sentences?"
One turns to the other and says “you take all those cows over there and round them up into one big group” The other says “what?” The first cowboy says “you herd”
It becomes a laughing stock
The bartender asks "Is this a joke?"
Lovely woman; terrible surgeon.
It was here a minute ago
I love being a music teacher.
The rest of your life.
I was shocked.
Nobody knows the answer so she puts her index finger and thumb together and places it over her nose. Little Johnny then asks the teacher "How do you put 6 holes in 1 hole?" She says she doesn't know. He says "You put a recorder up your pussy!" The teacher, surprised by this answer yells "Johnny! I do NOT tolerate such language in my class! Also, a recorder has 10 holes! Not 6!" Little Johnny says "Yeah I know but I didn't know you could fit it all the way in!"
National Dyslexia Association
50 Cent ft. Nickelback
He ended up getting the cold shoulder
"Can't I just finish the bar I was making for my house?" "No, that would be counter-productive."
One, we are very efficient and not funny
You can only ran through a campground, because it's past tents.
The king offered him a free palace stein
"Between you and me, something smells" (Credit to a 9 y.o. I thought it was funny)
It only feels like a maternity
His lawyer says there is not enough evidence. "The ex-wife is not even dead, I am going to prove it to you, she is going to walk through the door in about one minute." All eyes are focused on the door. A minute passes. Another minute passes. And another. The prosecution says: "she didn't walk in." "But the fact that you were all staring at the door expectantly proves that there is reasonable doubt." The jury discusses. The defendant is found guilty. "How can you send a man to prison on such flimsy evidence?" The lawyer says. One juror says: "In the three minutes that passed, I looked through the courtroom, and I saw that the defendant was the only person who didn't look at the door even once."
Look for Fresh Prints.
Just give it time.
He conditioned it.