GOP leadership is deadly
Two immigrants from Africa arrive in the United States and are discussing the difference between their country and the U.S.
One of them mentions he's heard that people in the U.S. eat dogs, and if they're going to fit in, they better eat dogs as well. So they head to the nearest hot dog stand and order two 'dogs.' The first guy unwraps his, looks at it, and nervously looks at his friend. "Which part did you get?" Edit: Thank you for the gold, kind stranger!
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I told him, "That makes two of us".
sadly none of them work.
I call it James.
You would think it'd be ARR and B, but it turns out he's very into hip hop.
So now we call him Dav
She denies it, but I'm sticking to my guns.
It always cracks up
Whoever fucked this up should be stabbed! Edit: Thank you everyone for the awards!
He Dwaynes his Johnson
National Dyslexia Association
Because it’s really time consuming.
Because they stick. I came up with this one, I hope it's good cause it's my only achievement in life.
Seemed like a good idea at the time but i've never driven a bus before…
It was turned down, he just couldn't make the cut.
They lured me in the door and then knocked me down.
Leave me the fuck cologne.
He got off with a suspension.
The second hand store.
Yo daddy takes her to work with him every day so he doesn’t have to kiss her goodbye.
The father breaks his neck and dies, leaving his son to mourn for days. However, one night, the boy wakes up to see an apparition of his father before him. All at once, he breaks down crying, and screams out, "I'm sorry!" His father responds, "Hi Sorry, I'm dead!"
The doctor asked, "What can I do for you?" The man said, "Will you watch us have sex?" The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed. When the couple finished, the doctor said, "There's nothing wrong with the way you have sex," and charged them $50. This happened several weeks in a row. The couple would make an appointment, have sex with no problems, pay the doctor, then leave. Finally, the doctor asked, "Just exactly what are you trying to find out?" "We're not trying to find out anything," the husband replied. "She's married and we can't go to her house. I'm married and we can't go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $90. The Hilton charges $108. We do it here for $50…and I get $43 back from Medicare
I still do, but I used to too
Yet when I use my phone to navigate it will tell me to turn when there is no turn. But I guess it makes sense since there aren’t a lot of turns between Earth and the Moon.
Months of training wasted.
Add a nipple to it.
Guy: How rare? Doc: Really rare. Guy: What’s it called? Doc: You choose.
The dad said," They are made at a mint with a press". Then the child responded," That makes cents".
Because they have 2 shifts.