Gotta love the conservative mindset
“You can tune a guitar but you can’t tune a fish” “What about the pot of glue” “I knew you’d get stuck on that”
He’s called Broco Lee.
Two. One to change the bulb, and one to hold the penis. Edit: *Father Edit: * LADDER!!!! Dammit.
It's my new year's resolution.
When I'm so inclined.
The host asks him, "And what are you?" The guy says, " I'm a snail." The host says "And who's that on your back?" "That's Michelle!"…
But I’m 2² to tell it!
She drinks right out of the bottle.
No text found
The judge called it "organ harvesting", but that's just semantics
The gunstore owner says: She just fell into my arms
My family takes monopoly too seriously
Dad: "that would be just like you".
I was in a long McDonald’s drive-through this morning and the young lady behind me leaned on her horn because I was taking too long to place my order.
“Take the high road,” I thought to myself. So when I got to the first window I paid for her order along with my own. The cashier must have told her what I'd done because as we moved up she leaned out her window and waved to me and mouthed "Thank you.", obviously embarrassed that I had repaid her rudeness with kindness. When I got to the second window I showed them both receipts and took her food too. Now she has to go back to the end of the line to start all over. Don't honk your horn at old people.
It already has thousands of degrees.
Grass…… I lied about the wheels.
To get to the udder side
It was like taking a baby from Candy.
A mosquito got old enough to fly on his own, when he came back his mother was happily waiting for him. -"How was your first flight, my dear?" The mother asked. -"Amazing." He answered "Everyone thought I was doing great!" -"Oh yeah? What makes you think that?" -"Well, wherever I went people started clapping!"
No text found
It just goes from bad to worse…
Yeah, he's wheelie bin depressed.
The diagnosis came completely out of the purple 😀
It was only a minute long.
I said, “I don’t notice a vas deferens.”
But it's a 35 minute walk from the pub to my house. The difference is staggering.
You can't do that. Bishops can only move diagonally.
It took me thirty years to get here.
He got arrested after the police saw people actually letting him in.
"Back in my day, it was Monday".