Grandma too sweet
They're throwing a hissy fit.
Employee: Of course sir. Which one? Me: William.
No text found
At least that’s what her diary said
They heard it was a mail dominated industry.. ( Possibility OC?)
Is it fair to say his addiction is getting out of hand?
An old lady dies and goes to heaven. She’s chatting with St. Peter at the pearly gates when all of a sudden she hears the most bloodcurdling screams.
"Don't worry about that," says St. Peter, "it's only someone having the holes put into her shoulder blades for wings." The old lady looks a little uncomfortable but carries on with the conversation. Ten minutes later, there are more loud and dreadful screams "Oh my God," says the old lady, "now what is happening?" "Not to worry," says St. Peter, "She's just having her head drilled to fit the halo." "I can't do this," says the old lady, "I'm going to hell." "You can't go there," says St. Peter. "You'll be raped and sodomized." "Maybe so," says the old lady, "but I've already got the holes for that. Edit : I got a gold for a joke that I repost every month. Thanks person, hope you had a chuckle.
The little moron was a little more on.
A skinny little white guy walks into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE black guy standing next to him.
The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and says "7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 15 inch penis, 3 pound left testicle, 3 pound right testicle, Turner Brown." The little guy faints and falls to the floor. The big guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking him. The big guy says, "What's wrong with you?" In a weak voice the little guy says, "What EXACTLY did you say to me? " The big dude says, "I saw your curious look and figured I'd just give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me. I'm 7 feet tall, I weigh 350 pounds, I have a 15 inch penis, my left testicle weighs 3 pounds, my right testicle weighs 3 pounds, and my name is Turner Brown." The small guy says, "oh thank God, I thought you said turn around."
I'm seeing a lot of new faces here in the crowd this week and I have to say I am very disappointed.
You’re walking along the Oregon Trail and you meet a guy named terry. You laugh at him as say Terry is a girls name. Terry shoots you. You’ve died of dissen terry.
A condescending con descending.
… There used to be two of them, and now everyone is REAL SENSITIVE about it
The car battery and jumper cables go find a seat while the bra asks the bartender for 3 beers. The bartender replies, "I'm not serving you! You're obviously off your tits and your two mates look like they're about to start something."
I don’t like to interrupt her.
He is Sirloin.
Everytime I come home from work I ask my dog how his day went and he always says rough.
Cause he doesn’t wanna be spotted
He seems confused as to why my car would dress like that.
It's a blessing in disguise.
When it becomes apparent.
Because they believe in carrying a baby to full term.
I can't tell you how much it means to me