Guess who woke up with 20 missed calls from his ex?
Back in the day, everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars. Now, everyone owns a car and the rich have horses…
My, how the stables have turned!!
President Trump said “No politician in history — and I say this with great surety — has been treated worse or more unfairly.”
I guess the 6 Presidents who were shot no longer count *edit had 4 in post originally
Neither, they're both stuck up cunts.
Take your foot off his head. ** Edit: Some people PM'd me to tell me they found this offensive. I reread it and I agree. Here is the updated version of the joke: Q. How do you stop an anti-vaxer from drowning? A. Take your foot off his or her head. Again, I apologize to any feminists out there for my originally posted version.
"Oh you know….stuff. "
…have the same middle name
…He burped 7 up
The diagnosis came completely out of the purple 😀
In case I get a hole in one…
The results pretty much speak for themselves…
Now I just need to work out if that's my wife or my girlfriend.
A staggering 100% of them use "Get out of my shower".
Ah, this one got me good 😀
*Bart's life flashes before his eyes as he's mercilessly shot four times in the chest*
She got mad and said she’s never playing Scrabble with me again!
He was high on my list of priorities
and both of them turned out fine.
No text found
…but I stand corrected.
So they can beat the crowd.
Turn 11. My kid asked me that question and they clearly had something else in mind, because she was less than enthusiastic about my response.
A lip reader.
So he rounded them up.
We're currently filming the pilot.
She looked surprised.