Guy on the right: I’d like to ask for your daughter’s hand in marriage. Old man: Look her up on Instagram and give her some likes.
jim from IT support made by cat pregnant last timehe said he was fixing the usb port
I’ve had it right up to here with them!
Thanks for the gold kind stranger! Edit:Thanks for the gold kind stranger!
I just need dad joke enthusiasts to know that the International Poultry Meat Congress is held in Turkey this year.
That’s not a good sign.
Memeless Mondays are now in effect, a system we’ve created that will hopefully improve content quality on the subreddit (at least for some part of the week).For the duration of this day, all image jokes must only use OC meme templates or not use any template at all (i.e. not be a meme).We won’t check for OC very thoroughly – if it can’t be found on the first page of a google search using keywords and it isn’t a quick edit of an existing template, you’re probably fine.All posts made which break the above criterion will be removed; no strikes will be administered for this violation.Memeless Mondays end at 12AM EDT on Tuesday. If you have any concerns or changes you feel would improve this system, please send them via modmail. Thanks!
It was a real slap in the faith.
"Are you having a crisis?"
Looks like reindeer!!
Two out of three little ones have no household.
Friend: Sweetie, if you're swallowing enough to worry about it, no one will care if you're a little chubby.
I don’t know I don’t have 2020 vision
Not a single one of them has gotten pregnant yet!
It was the least I could have done for him.
A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there’s a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there’s a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers. Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there’s a large limo line at the rental office, but he’s patient and gets the job done. Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there’s no punchline.
…so when someone asks what your password is, just tell them it’s: 12345678.
In my defence there were signs everywhere saying "please don't feed the animals"
Dip both your hands in fresh cow dung before going out. This will make sure that a) you will not touch your eyes, nose, ear or mouth. b) nobody will shake hands with you. c) Nobody will come near you when you are out in the streets. d) You will wash your hands thoroughly before you eat.
Knock knock Who's there? Dwayne Dwayne who? Dwayne the tub before I dwown.
Unfortunately, she blew it!
This made him the Centaur for Disease Control.
So I wrote, "But has a great personality."