Guys, depression funi.
It’s true, I saw it with my own eyes
It was the wurst.
But I'm quite Adam Ant about it.
I’m excited to see how they turn out!
Now I've got two adult knees.
Male Female IMAGINATION
She didn't believe me. So I said, "Just ask the police."
Quick! Someone call the bamboolance.
They hold the bulb in the socket and wait for the world to revolve around them
Surprise, it was an apple, but with very little memory. Just one byte. Then everything crashed.
Is was working overtime.
So I put my foot down
They are in da skies.
Me: Shit! One escaped?
My house is full of light switches!
You spend too much time on the web
Mom: No, no, why would you think that? Dad: It was a more of a tragedy, really.
The wedding wasn’t much but the reception was incredible!
Apologies in advanced for spelling and grammar as I’m on my phone. A man is driving down the street and sees a penguin on the side of the road. Curious he decides to pull over and pick it up. About that time a local police officer sees the two of them and decides to pull behind him as he’s loading the penguin up. “Just what do you think you’re doing with that penguin?” The officer demands “I haven’t a clue what to do with him I just saw him on the side of the road and figured I’d pick him up” The man replied “Well I suggest you take him straight to the zoo!” The officer suggested. So the man agrees and takes off heading toward the zoo. The next day the officer is at his post when he sees the same guy in the same car driving by with the same penguin. He immediately hits the flashers and pulls the man over. “Hey pal I thought I made it clear yesterday to take this penguin straight to the zoo!” The officer stated “Yeah we did that yesterday, today I’m taking him to the ball game”
It does not have a menu Because you get what you deserve
what does smoking Marijuana do?
I just want to make myself clear.
Now he has toadal recall.
Who’s there? Wah. Wah who? Settle down. This isn’t THAT great of a joke.
My wife just gave birth today and after thanking the doctor, I pulled him aside and sheepishly asked, “How soon do you think we’ll be able to have sex?” [NSFW]
He winked at me and said, "I'm off duty in ten minutes – meet me in the car park."
Mr. E My 9 year old daughter came up with this, so please be kind!