Guys I tried to think of a social distancing joke
but this is as close as I could get
Which I, personally, thought was a very weird and rude way to start a conversation!
3 people having sex is called a threesome Now I know why they call me handsome.
I mined my own business.
My wife asked me whether my friends and I experimented with drugs and sex when we were in high school.
I said, “Yes. But I was part of the control group.”
The Fast and the Fuherous.
One says to the other "I can't believe I just blew 20 bucks!"
He even used the name when he had a little grill.
Because Recycling old shit is what Redditors do best . P.S.A – Do recycle ♻
It wasn't fully groan
And in 2033 we shall witness the rise of the quaranteens!!!
A horse walks into a bar, at which point the bartender asks if he’s an alcoholic given all the bars he frequents.
“I don’t think I am.” the horse replies. poof The horse disappears. This is the moment where those who are into philosophy start to grin as they’re familiar with the philosophical proposition of “Cogito Ergo Sum”, or “I think, therefore I am”. But to explain that joke beforehand would be putting Descartes before the horse.
Because change comes from within.
I’m asking for a friend.
You drop it in water. If it sinks: girl ant. If it floats…
unfortunately, I mist.
The second hand store.
Asbestos they can!
Otherwise it would be justwater.
Dad: "that would be just like you".
I said “son, what is A for?” “Apple!” “That’s right! What is B for?” “Banana!” That’s right! What is C for?” “Explosive!”
They were Prime mates.
Once I forgot to bring my phone when I went out for the day. I borrowed my friend's phone to call her. She answered "What's up baby?" She is so smart she knew I was the one calling her. Edit: it's my cake day!
…I'll never forget that first day at school when the teacher asked did we know any french.
Because she wanted to speak to the Task Manager!
The brunette tells them, "I found cigarettes in my daughter's room, I can't believe she smokes! " The red head said, "I know, I found some beer in my daughter's room. I couldn't believe it! " The blonde says "That's nothing! I found condoms in my daughter's room. I never knew she had a penis! "
When the baby was born. Mr Wong was shocked to see it was white and not a bit Chinese looking. "No no no" he said "two wongs don't make a white"
The results speak for themselves…
The horse-pital. No I’m kidding they get shot
"I don't remember." (Offical dad joke from my dad)
When I hear all the people complaining about the Nanochip that is implanted with the Covid vaccine I think about when I was young and had to swallow a whole floppy disc for the Polio vaccine
The kids are taking it pretty hard.