What is the difference between two lions surrounded by crops and the part of a person’s arm extending from the elbow to the wrist?
One's a forearm. The other's a roar farm.
Never get over it.
I have serious emotional attachment issues.
It’s open Mike night!
Yep, he went down in History
It got stuck in a crack
He called it a Yes Box.
To raise some dough
To satisfy my fetish of being able to afford medicare.
Hitler says "Yes." Stalin then says "Moscow." Hitler replies with "I don't get it?" Stalin laughs and says "And you never will."
They only had ours!
Makes you wonder about the Dickinsons…
Now it’s a Ford Focus
I have only my shelf to blame
AND THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SHOUTING."
Teach a man guitar and today is gonna be the day that they’re gonna throw it back to you
It wasn’t much of a wedding but the reception was wonderful.
it was accidental
My girlfriend said that it wasn’t working out between us and that we should start seeing other people.
So I took her wheelchair. Just as I thought… She couldn’t stand to leave me.
One. Men can be Feminists, too.
She knocks on the window and says, "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load." The trucker just ignores her, the light changes, and he proceeds down the street. At the next light, the blonde again catches up and says, "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load." He ignores her again and continues down the street. At the next red light the blonde catches up, all out of breath, knocks on the window and says, "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load." The trucker looks at her and finally, he says, "Hi, my name is Kevin, it's snowing, and I'm driving a salt truck."
I said: “Of course not. I was going to put it up in the living room.”
But they'll recoup.
We’ve been talking about mod apps for years now, but it’s never actually materialized.Well, here’s the Google FormAfter a week or so we will look through all of the responses and stalk profiles do research and see who the best candidates are.
I saw a man in the street with a dog and a white stick. I said ‘You must be blind.’ He said ‘Yeah, tell me something I don’t know.’
So I said ‘There’s a tree over there.’
I’m about to start a religious movement.