haha daddy has ED
For Hispanic attacks.
Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me Capitalism. Your mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the People. The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense." So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. The little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father having sex with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now." The father says, "Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about." The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in Deep Shit." Edit: Thank you for silver
Unfortunately, too many of them got elected…
Then God said there is no Steven Hawking
Student 2: My name is Sam Baker because my forefathers were bakers. Student 3: My name is John Dickinson, and I hate this game.
They fit like a glove
It doesn’t pay much but the tips are huge.
When everyone just ignored him, he yelled at them three more times, eventually they got irritated and kicked him out of the theater.
You would think “R,” but it’s actually the “C.”
It was here a minute ago
“How long do you have to do that for?” I asked. “When is he too old for it?” “Well, it’s a physical bond between a mother and her child isn’t it? It’s only the society that deems it unacceptable above a certain age.” “Yeah, shut up Joe – I was talking to your mother.”
This post says otherwise
"Have to love Easter, baby…."
Husband- Hi Pregnant, I am Dad. Wife- No you're not.
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It’s lucky my older brother told me about it, really.
My wife asked if I needed help to clean it up. I said don't worry it's nacho problem.
…He burped 7 up
I said its Narnia buisness
"Help, I've fallen, and I cant giddy up!"
She insisted on me telling everyone that I loved it. I didn't really, she was just putting words in my mouth
I would have $6.38.
At least that’s what she wrote in her diary.
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So I packed up my stuff and right
Father: "That's great, son! Who is she?" Son: "It's Sandra, the neighbor's daughter." Father: "Ohhh, I wish you hadn't said that. I have to tell you something, son, but you must promise not to tell your mother. Sandra is actually your sister." The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later: Son: "Daddy, I fell in love again and she is even hotter!" Father: "That's great, son! Who is she?" Son: "It's Angela, the other neighbor's daughter." Father: "Ohhh, I wish you hadn't said that. Angela is also your sister." This went on a few more times, and finally the son was so mad, he went straight to his mother crying. Son: "Mom, I am so mad at dad! I fell in love with six girls and I can't date any of them because dad is their father!" The mother hugs him affectionately and says, "You can date whoever you want. He isn't your father!"
If you leave yogurt alone for 200 years it develops a culture