haha get it? Because old women keep cats to fight loneliness
So I simply sat down and looked comfortable, that did the trick
One's gorgeous, the other's just Gore.
Can February March? No, but April May.
They now yell "Donald, duck!"
But a Tiger Wood!
They have two shifts.
Three ducks walk into a bar. Bar man asks the first duck: “What’s your name, and how was your day?” The duck replies: “It’s Huey and it’s been great, I’ve been in and out of puddles all day. Give me a beer, please”. The bar man asks the second duck the same, “It’s Dewey, and I’ve also been in and out of puddles all day. Give me a beer, please”. Finally he turns to the third duck: “so you must be Louie?” “No” she replies, “I'm Puddles. And don’t ask. Just give me a whiskey, neat.”
Because they have mass
Apparently Neil Armstrong used to tell unfunny jokes about the Moon, and follow them up with "Ah, I guess you had to be there." https://twitter.com/draxar/status/239766758842568704 [Total report, but topical today]
I learned next to nothing.
Look for fresh prints
At least that’s what her diary said
They're always looking for people.
Dead ant, dead ant. Deadant deadant deadant, dead ant, DEAD AAAANT. Deadant.
So I packed my stuff up and right
Went to the doctors the other day and said ‘ I’m having loads of trouble hearing people when they speak’
Doctor said ‘ right ok. Can you describe the symptoms?’ I said ‘yeah Marge has blue hair and homer is a fat bloke’
My wife doesn't want to travel anywhere. She no longer buys anything online, since everything comes from China. she doesn't go to the mall to avoid the crowds. she spends all of her time in a mask with her mouth closed. Best thing that has ever happened in my life.
When you run after the car, you get exhausted. If you run in front of it, you'll get tired.
Did my part for contact tracing.
They would call it crucifact.
She thinks I'm following or even stalking her, she is worried that I may be obsessed with her and any time she hears a noise in her house she is…purified? Oh, wait: petrified. Sorry, it's not easy reading a diary through binoculars from a tree.
Step 1 Step 2 Step 3 Step 6 Step 12 Step 24
You read the title wrong
My bank account.
I don’t know what scared him more, the fact that I was naked, or that I knew where he lived