haHAA funny animation man
Donald J. Trump walks into a bar…
and lowers it
If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it…
…then my illegal logging business is a success. This repost has been brought to you by r/ModMurder for the means of a challenge
[NSFW] What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball?
Glrhrglelgrglugr
“Dad, are we pyromaniacs?”
“Yes, we arson.”
What do you call a bulletproof Irish man?
Rick O’Shay
I was diagnosed as colorblind yesterday
It came completely out of the purple
When a short person waves at you….
Its called a microwave
My girlfriend gave me a handjob using Vaseline the other day.
I came three times in the shower trying to wash it off.
A man in court says, “I’m not saying anything without my lawyer present.”
Cop: "But you are the lawyer…" Lawyer: "Exactly, So where's my present?"
What did one deer say to the other when leaving the gay bar?
"I must have blown twenty bucks in there."
I Don’t Think That Bulldog Is Willing To Cheer For Your Team
I Don’t Think That Bulldog Is Willing To Cheer For Your Team
I hate when people ask me where i see myself in 1 year
I don’t know I don’t have 2020 vision
Joke
You could view the cross on the cover of the Holy Bible as a big time spoiler….
What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?
Catching all the chickens that had crossed it
Welcome to Plastic Surgery Addicts Anonymous
I'm seeing a lot of new faces here in the crowd this week and I have to say I am very disappointed.
My friend hit me with a full bottle of Coke…
But it didn't hurt, because it was a soft drink!
Some heavy stuff my teacher puts in our Homework during Coronavirus Homeschooling.
https://ift.tt/2WTxo0t
What’s a group of Chubby newborns called?
Heavy Infantry
Why did the condom fly accross the room?
It was pissed off…
Wasn’t sure if I should post this, since it’s only funny under certain circumstances.
certain circumstances. only funny
I had a car crash the other day.
I had a car crash the other day. A dwarf got out of the other car and said, “I'm not happy”. To which I replied, “Which one are you then?”
What do you call a child with a caffeine addiction?
A tea toddler
I never use pushpins at work so my boss called the police. Now I’m going to jail.
They’re charging me with tacks evasion.
you don’t grate cheese here… you shReddit
No text found
Why don’t you ever see elephants hiding in trees?
They’re really good at it.
We all know Albert Einstein was a genius…
…but his brother Frank was a monster.
2 antennas got married last week. The wedding was kinda lame….
But the reception was amazing.
The flight attendant sees a suspicious looking couple on board, so she reports it to the Captain immediately.
"Sir, I think we have a case of human trafficking! There is a very pretty, hot and sexy female passenger on board, who looks quite frightened and the man she is with is a fat old slob who looks like a lecher, very sullen, mean and dangerous!" The captain responds, "Patricia, I've told you this before. This is Air Force One…"
A feminist told me about the “Dwayne Johnson Rule.”
The rule, as she explained it, was that in order to determine if a particular comment was appropriate to say to a woman, first ask yourself, 'Would I be comfortable saying this to Dwayne Johnson?' If not, don't say it. I thought this sounded like a good rule. So I told her: "Your chest is fucking epic."
My girlfriend keeps accusing me of being a cheater
She's starting to sound like my wife
Yesterday I went to a temporary tattoo parlour to get a tattoo.
It wouldn't wash off this morning, so I went back to complain, but the tattoo parlour wasn't there.
What’s the difference between yogurt and America?
If you leave yogurt alone for 200 years it develops a culture
I don’t like people that take drugs.
Airport security, for example.
I bought my dad a refrigerator for his birthday.
I can’t wait to see his face light up when he opens it
Did you hear about the monkeys Who shared an Amazon account?
They were prime mates.
My mirror is really enjoying quarantine.
It has a lot time to reflect.
Bill Nye has a daughter who doesn’t believe in science.
Her name is Dee.