When the big hand touches the little hand.
They’re both meat substitutes.
I was circumcised when I was born and I couldn’t walk for nearly a year. So check your facts.
When she finds a load of serious bondage gear and fetish mags. She asks her husband "what do we do?" Husband says "I'm no expert, but I wouldn't fucking spank him."
I think her name was um.. Reese.. Reese…. “Reese Witherspoon?” No, with a knife.
Slogan: Guaranteed to last a lifetime
They're so full of themselves!
The woman goes into surgery upon arrival and her husband is immediately called to come to the hospital. On arrival the husband is greeted by the surgeon. " You may want to have a seat" the surgeon says. "I have some bad news and some good news" The husband sits down nervously. "What's the bad news?" "Well" the surgeon says "your wife was involved in a car crash and we had to take her in for major surgery. She is alive but we had to take out a part of her brain to keep her alive. Unfortunately. She is unable to walk or talk anymore and will be unable to do anything independently. She will require 24/7 around the clock care, you will need to quit your job and help your wife eat, use the toilet and help feed her" The husband starts crying frantically. "Omg. What's happened to my life? Please please please. Tell me the good news" The surgeon replies "The good news is. I was joking. She's dead"
Trust me, the difference is apparent.
A guy who's too drunk to follow orders.
I'm currently working knights.
My boss told me to wear rubber gloves while dealing with customers this week. I told him “Fuck that.”
I’m doing these prostate exams my way.
Just to get high
Not unless you count Dracula
My to doo list
Why didn’t the husband try to catch his wife when she was falling down while she was carrying clean laundry?
He wanted to watch it all unfold!
All the DNA matches and there's no dental records.
…but all brooms are pretty much the same.
One in fifty-million has a chance at becoming a human being.
That her breasts are in the way is not our fault.
I confronted him and said, “Mark, my words!”
I’d have to legally change my name.
I can do it with my eyes closed.
To be honest even I dont know u choose
19 and 20 got into a fight. 21.
One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.