Hahaha! THATS not normal behavior!
When it becomes apparent.
in the hare force
Later in my life, I learned that condoms only work 99% of the time.
Like cops, DEA agents…
Because they had reservations
Terrorist organisations take responsibility for their actions.
These two guys at the golf course were talking about their blood sugar levels, while they prepared for their opening shots.
Silence fell as they put their stands in the grass, and when I looked closer at these stands I saw the design of them. Yellow and black, with wings attached to the sides. "Those stands are hideous," I said out loud, but neither of them heard me. I think they had dire bee tees.
The virus is literally making us go fuck ourselves.
It was a little condescending
He would boldly go where no man had gone before.
but none of them seem to work.
So I just got my wife with this one… She asked to go to Victoria’s Secret to buy some new underwear… She complained that her favorite pairs had holes in them…
I said "of course they have holes in them, how else are you supposed to get your legs through?" I could feel the eye roll from across the room
Click here to find out!
It was a risk I was willing to take.
Like Roman numerals
She’s in for a rude awakening.
An elementary teacher asks her students what they did during recess. Teacher: Johnny what did you do doing recess? Johnny: I played in the sandbox. Teacher: Okay, if you can write the word "sand" on the board, you get a cookie. Johnny writes "sand" and gets his cookie. Teacher: Alright Suzie, what did you do? Suzie: I played in the sandbox with Johnny. Teacher: Okay, if you can write the word "box" on the board, you get a cookie. Suzie writes "box" and gets her cookie. Teacher: Jamal, what did you do? Jamal: Well, I tried to play with Johnny and Suzie, but they kicked sand in my face. Teacher: Oh no, that sounds like blatant racial discrimination. If you can write "blatant racial discrimination" on the board, you get a cookie.
As I walked in I heard her whisper to herself “I’m ugly.” I responded “I’m pregnant.” She was confused so I confessed, “I thought we were saying things the were impossible.”
But nobody will give me a straight answer.
Whether they like it or not.
Now he has toadal recall.
On the plus side, he makes great Subway sandwiches.
The US Military had too many commanding officers so it offered a significant lump sum to those who retired…
They would measure whoever retired from one point on their body to another and pay $5,000 per inch. The first general asked to be measured from the top of his head to his tip toes and was paid $360,000. The second general was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched arms to his tip toes and was rewarded $520,000 for his creativity. The last general asked to be measured from his left testicle to his right testicle. "Are you sure about that?" the other two asked incredulously. "Yea. Last I remember my right one is still in 'Nam."
The Times are rough
It was here a minute ago Edit : fixed the spelling
The bartender stares at her body from head to toe then serves her a beer. She drinks it and asks for another beer. The bartender stares at her for longer and serves her a second beer. The woman again drinks it and asks for a third beer. Then the bartender starts to look at her with an amused expression, until the woman says: — What, have you never seen a naked woman before? — That I have, miss. I'm wondering where you're keeping the money to pay for the beers.
I flipped two stones with one bird.
The slow swimmer
A woman in labor suddenly shouted, "Shouldn't! Wouldn't! Couldn't! Didn't! Can't!" "Don't worry," said the doc. "Those are just contractions."
Bartender says "What can I get for you Mr. President?"
For my black jeep…
She knows how to make bad decisions, yet stick by them.
Because it's the scenter
I rest in peas.
Sorry for the terrible pun, I just couldn't resist.
They hold the bulb in the socket and wait for the world to revolve around them
Terrible joke, only 3 stars
Well, the flag is a big plus.