Has anyone else noticed that it’s the comedians that are speaking the most sense these days?
Because they’re a pane to replace.
I don't know why.
he came running jk rowling
a waist of paper
People are injecting racehorses with steroids, but the cops are finding it difficult to convict them.
It’s like finding a needle in a haystack.
You should of seen the look on her face as i drove pasta
Mostly because his name is Steve
But none of them work.
She keeps making demands like, "Untie me! Tell me who you are!"
Husband- Hi Pregnant, I am Dad. Wife- No you're not.
Must be some kind of milestone…
Because of their antybodies
I responded with "I have a math test tommorow" She looked a bit confused so I said "I thought we were listing things we could cheat on."
It’s where I flip your MOM over.
I called work this morning and whispered, “Sorry boss, I can’t come in today. I have a wee cough.” He exclaimed, “You have a wee cough!?”
I said, "Really?! Thanks boss, see you next week!"
You won’t get a weigh with this!
Tools!! I meant tools!! Stupid keyboard…
… I didn’t like it at first.
Me- Sure, but why so many people? Dad- The DVD says it is only for 18+ viewers.
Hot, cross bunnies.
That it scares everyone in the car I’m driving.
The stock market.
I arrived early at the restaurant last night. “Do you mind waiting for a bit?” The manager asked. “Not at all” I replied.
“Good, take these lasagnas to table 6” he said.
I called my wife and told her that I’ll pick up pizza and coke on the way back from work. But it seems she was not happy.
She still regrets letting me name the kids.
A rip off
These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
Ground beef What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef What do you call a cow that has been knighted? Sir Loin What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef Jerky What do you call a cow that dies in a helicopter crash? Kobe Beef