Help! Clever Team Name for Legal Group!
It was an Apple, but with extremely limited memory. Just one byte. And then everything crashed.
He said "No. I am German but how did you know my name was Walter?"
Once when we're having drinks, I asked him, "Aren't you tired of Westerners saying that all Chinese people look the same? " He replied, "Kim's at the bar getting drinks, I'm his wife. "
"It’d be a shame if someone put an ‘s’ at the front and an ‘e’ at the end."
I get it, you have more money than me, you don't have to show off.
I told her she was just pulling my leg.
No text found
It can write other words too.
Fine. Suture self.
The last thing my grandfather said before he died was “It’s worth it to spend money on good speakers.”
That was some sound advice.
But now I stand corrected
And that's how I lost my job as a bus driver
Well, after 10 years your Job still sucks.
The man decided, "What the hell, I'll try it," He spent the rest of the day thinking about where to do it before he got home to his wife. He couldn't do it in his office. He thought about the restroom, but that was too open. He considered an alley, but figured that was too unsafe. Finally, he realized his solution. On his way home, he pulled his truck over on the side of the highway. He got out and crawled underneath as if he was examining the truck. Satisfied with the privacy, he undid his pants and started to play with his unit. He closed his eyes and thought of his lover. As he grew closer to the big finish, he felt a quick tug at the bottom of his pants. Not wanting to lose his mental fantasy or the orgasm, he kept his eyes shut and replied, "What?" He heard, "This is the police. What's going on down there?" The man replied, "I'm checking out the rear axle, it's busted." The cop replied, "Well, you might as well check your brakes too while you're down there because your truck rolled down the hill 5 minutes ago."
When it leaves you and never comes back.
It was a play on words
Because their P is silent
his parents just died
Today in sex ed our teacher asked what’s the difference between a male reproductive system and the female reproductive system.
Apparently there’s a vas deferens
A driver was stuck in a traffic jam on the highway outside Washington DC. Nothing was moving. Suddenly, a man knocks on the window. The driver rolls down the window and asks, "What's going on?" "Terrorists have kidnapped the entire US Congress, and they're asking for 100 million dollar ransom. Otherwise, they are going to douse them all in gasoline and set them on fire. "We're going from car to car, collecting donations" The driver asks "How much is everyone giving?" The man replies, "Roughly a gallon"
But I barely made it.
It has a lot of sin
Ah well..back to it I suppose
For example, right now you’re thinking, “It’s psychic, idiot!”
Because you can’t C in the dark
The accountant says, "Before we begin, I'll need to ask a few questions." He gets her name, address, social security number, etc. and then asks, "What is your occupation?" The woman replies, "I'm a whore." The accountant balks and says, "No, no, no. That will never work. That is much too crass. Let's try to rephrase that." The woman, "OK, I'm a prostitute." "No, that is still too crude. Try again." They both think for a minute, then the woman states, "I'm a chicken farmer." The accountant asks, "What does chicken farming have to do with being a whore or a prostitute?" "Well, I raised over 5,000 cocks last year."
For example, airport security.
Because they cant keep a straight face
He said: “No, I got shot in the leggy.”
It's my secret 'stache.
I’m clean now!