Henry is no dummy
Ireland. It's Dublin every year.
Most Americans don't get it.
He said, “When I want your fucking advice, I’ll ask for it.”
While sipping his wine, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table. Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful. He asked the waiter, 'What is that you just served?' The waiter replied, 'Si senor, you have excellent taste! Those are called Cojones de Toro, bull's testicles from the bull fight this morning. A delicacy!' The Texan said, 'What the heck, bring me an order.' The waiter replied, 'I am so sorry senor. There is only one serving per day because there is only one bull fight each morning. If you come early and place your order, we will be sure to serve you this delicacy.' The next morning, the Texan returned, placed his order, and that evening was served the one and only special delicacy of the day. After a few bites, inspecting his platter, he called to the waiter and said, 'These are delicious, but they are much, much smaller than the ones I saw you serve yesterday.' The waiter shrugged his shoulders and replied, 'Si, Senor. Sometimes the bull wins..
She said, "Oh the baby is mine, I get to keep it"
it was two-tired
But first, let me introduce you to todays sponsor Raid Of Shadow Legends.
because if they flew over the bay, they'd be bagels.
TIL After Nigeria was unable to win any medals in this year’s Olympics, the Nigerian Sports Minister personally offered to refund all the expenses of fans that traveled to Brazil
He said he just needs their bank details and pin numbers to complete the transaction.
When it becomes apparent.
These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
You don’t need make-up. Aww, that is so sweet of you! You need plastic surgery.
But I got over it.
They checked the reviews……………. only one star.
I won’t lie, it was a Rocky Road…
It really came out of the purple.
By the pound!
… but it turned out to be a pigment of my imagination.
On one hand it feels great, on the other hand, not so much
We have a friend who likes to have sex with inanimate objects, but we haven’t seen him for a long time.
He always has stuff to do.
And it still didn't tell my why it crossed the road!!!
"Do you want some of my bacon?" "No thanks I'm Jewish" "Don't worry it's free"
He kept talking about how he wants to shake things up.
She said I wasn't any good in bed. She was shocked when they all disagreed with her!
She said "They're right behind you".
Not because they don’t have it, but because they can’t figure out how to read the tests.
When the rubbed it the genie came out and stated the rules. Genie: You cannot wish for more wishes, immortality, or love. Man: I wish to not die a virgin Genie: I just said no wishing for immortality
It’s always the centre of a tension.