Hercules, death from above
He learned next to nothing.
You need it to go skydiving TWICE.
Last time I held my sister’s baby, I dropped it. It wasn’t even a big deal, but she started freaking out. It was an accident! Just an accident, no big deal. What happened was, after I was holding the baby and I inevitably dropped it, we start arguing and she’s overreacting big time. She called the cops, said I did it on purpose, blah blah of course all the while I’m denying it. She’s all red in the face screaming at me But my real question is, who brings a baby to the Grand Canyon? Nah I’m just kidding, my sister doesn’t have kids Anymore
They're making headlines everywhere!
But I came away with uncertainty and disorientation.
Dol, cause there’s no “fin.”
Guess you could say I’m now… Illegally Blonde
Eventually one guys looks over and sees the other is just standing there holding a pole. "Wears your shovel?" "Yeah, it sure does."
The only two white actors in Black Panther are Martin Freeman, who played Bilbo Baggins, and Andy Serkis who played Gollum.
They're the Tolkien white guys.
A lip reader.
2, 3, 5, and 7 are the prime suspects.
“I need to inspect your farm for illegally grown drugs”, he said. “By all means officer, just don’t go in that field over there”, I replied. The DEA officer exploded, saying “Do you know who the fuck I am?! I have the authority of the federal government with me!”, he shouted before pulling a badge out of his back pocket, “Do you see this fucking badge?! This badge means I can do what I want and I’ll go wherever the fuck I want, have I made myself clear?!” I nodded politely, apologized, and went about my chores. A short while later, I hear loud screams, looked up and saw the DEA agent running for his life being chased by my angry rodeo bull. With each step, the bull was gaining ground and he seemed sure to be gored before he reached safety. The officer looked terrified and continued to run for his life. I threw down my tools, immediately ran to the edge of the fence and shouted at the top of my lungs, “Your badge, show him your fucking badge!”
He said, “Christmas stalking.”
Only two: One to promise a bright future and another one to screw it up.
The wedding wasn't that good but the reception-amazing
Hillary's emails. Nobody can get over those fuckin' things apparently
Me: That makes two of us.
Because she wanted to speak to the Task Manager!
And i knew right away that this isnt working out
I'm not sure how I feel about it.
She asked me what i knew about dwarfs…….I said "very little."
He orders a beer.
I came home really drunk last night and my wife wasn’t happy at all. “How much have you had to drink?” she asked sternly, staring at me. “Nothing” I slurred. “Look at me!” she shouted. “It’s either me or the pub, which one is it?”
I paused for a second while I thought and said, “It’s you. I can tell by the voice.”
The news headline was there is a small medium at large
Between you and me, something smells.
He asked them who the best composer was and didn’t like their answer.