He’s not wrong
Tetris is a good game
In fact, you could even say it was a blockbuster
I began reading a horror novel in braille.
Something bad is about to happen; I can feel it.
A farmer friend of mine
used his stimulus check to buy baby chickens. He got his money for nothing and his chicks for free.
My wife got really mad at me because I have no sense of direction.
So i packed my stuff and right.
Dyslexic jokes about trees are O. A. K.
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Hillary under investigation=guilty, but Trump under investigation=witch hunt.
https://ift.tt/2WLlJPk
First woman on the moon:
“Houston, we have a problem.” What? “Never mind” What’s the problem? “Nothing” Please tell us? “You know what the problem is.”
My wife always prefers the stairs, whereas I always like to take the elevator.
I guess we are raised differently.
A man goes to do the doctor for a physical. He tells the not to be alarmed but he has 5 penises.
The doctor says, “5 penises!? How do you pants fit?” The man replies “Like a glove.”
My ex-wife still misses me
But her aim is getting better!
My wife is mad at me for not having a sense of direction
So i packed up and right.
What does Trump call kayaks?
Fake canoes
Dad jokes?
Well of course Dad jokes! Dad is hilarious!
Time flies when you’re throwing watches…
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What do you call a timely dinosaur?
A prontosaurus
Damn girl are you a redditor?
Cause you just keep repeating the same shit
I saw a one legged man with no arms at the ATM today…
He asked me to help him check his balance…. So I pushed the fucker over.
Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up on it’s own?
it was two-tired
What did the cold and angry man have for dinner?
A BrrrrGrrrrr
I combined laxatives and alphabet soup.
I call it "Letter Rip."
Why did the spy cross the road?
He didn't. He was never really on your side.
Genie: “What’s your first wish?”
Steve: "I wish I was rich!" Genie: "Okay, what's your next wish?" Rich: "I wish I had lots of money!"
I respect tyres.
They've got plenty of wheelpower.
Sometimes I think I have a superiority complex…
But then I realize I’m better than that.
Why was Yoda afraid of seven?
Because six, seven eight.
Don’t be worried about your smart phone or laptop spying on you.
Your vacuum cleaner has been gathering dirt from you for years.
My friend’s girlfriend is pregnant, and he is thinking of a name for the past few weeks.
Finally he decided on Carlos and ran away to Mexico.
